There is much to be thankful for

Today I'm thankful for Ann Voskamp's blog aholyexperience.com. I love how she constantly focuses on the heart of things. The broken heart of things to be exact. Loving in a world like this is not an easy task. We're all afraid of getting our hearts broken, and because of that we shy away from certain situations, and don't love freely like the Lord has called us to. That's something that I know I'm guilty of time and time again. I'm well guarded, well-shielded, and I should not be. I'm thankful for my husband who is a living example of living without shields. I'm thankful for the way he loves me unconditionally. I'm thankful that I get to wake up next to him every morning, and I'm thankful that he shows me he loves me in the middle of the night - dead asleep. I'm thankful for the little ways God shows his love for us - blooming flowers, sunshine, children's smiles. God is so good to us, and it's so easy to be discontent. God, I want you to know that I'm truly thankful. I'm so sorry for complaining - because it's showing you that what you have provided for me isn't good enough, and that's not my place to say. I should be thankful that you have provided the many blessings you have, and not be begging or whining for more. Thank you Lord, and help me to remember in the hard times that you have been ever so gracious and merciful to me. Thank you God. Amen.

Love, Sara

...weekends and holidays and all throughout May

and you'll never be right no matter what you say! One of my favorite Bryan Regan soundtracks. I'm thankful for the beautiful weather we had today. I'm thankful for getting the chance to babysit Addie today - it was a blast. I'm thankful that I'm getting a little more settled in from being home for a while - the table's now out of the trunk/back seat of my car. I got my NH plates today which I'm thankful for, and I got my birth control pills which I'm thankful for. I'm thankful that we have the means to go out to dinner when I really don't feel like cooking, although we really need to stop over-using that luxury. I'm thankful that I have ice cream in the fridge which I just remembered! I'm thankful that the Royal Wedding is now over. I'm thankful that I'll be starting on a new floor Sunday, and I'm really hoping that I make progress in the areas that I'm lacking. Lord, Please help me to be a better nurse. Help me to be on top of my patients and my orders - help me to understand in full detail and remember in full detail. Please help me to glorify your name in all that I do, and as always I pray that my father would be blessed with a job that would suit him. I pray that he would trust in you, and that you would comfort him Lord. All of these things I pray in your blessed name. Amen.

Love, Sara

Tie Tie

I'm thankful for ibuprofin that works so well for my headaches. I'm thankful that a long day of work is over, and I'm so looking forward to getting a warm shower and snuggling in my nice big comfy bed with my big fluffy blankets. I'm looking forward to getting paid tomorrow, and very thankful that God has provided for us and continues to bless us. I'm thankful for the opportunity to serve our friends on Friday and I'm thankful for planned movie nights. I'm thankful for a husband who will drive to the store in order to purchase me feminine products. God, thank you for these many many blessings, and always remind me of how blessed I am. Never let me forget it and never let me forget to thank you for it. Amen.

Love, Sara

home sweet home

I had the privilege of going back to Clearfield/Indiana PA this past week. I had a 6 day stretch off from work, so I went home and spent Easter with my family while my husband stayed in NH doing school work. I ventured completely alone to PA - didn't even bring my Rigby girl with me, and I missed both my husband and my puppy dearly while I was away. It was wonderful spending the holiday with family - even my brother and his fiance` came home. Naturally, I'm thankful for family time, for holidays, for the opportunity to go home. I'm thankful that my travels were safely made and that I'm back in the comfort of my own home, and my husband's arms. I'm thankful that Rigby is extra cuddly with me since I was gone, and that I have today to recooperate before work tomorrow. I pray that I would get my schedule for the next rotation soon, and that it wouldn't be 12 hour shifts. I'm eager to start putting together my own schedule and getting paid the little perks like overtime and critical pay - if I decide to pick up extra shifts. Josh will be going into finals next week, so Lord I pray for him. Help him to have the energy and stamina to study all that he needs to study, and help guide him in his studying so that he picks up the things he really needs to know. Thank you Lord for this life you have blessed me with, and for giving your son's life so that I may live this one. I pray you would guide me and help me to do your will every minute of every day. Help me to cling helplessly to you, Lord. Amen.

Love, Sara

cravings galore

I've been having crazy strong, strange cravings again lately. It's been a lot of ice-cream and sorbet, etc. lately. Chubby hubby, Birthday Cake ice cream... mmm mmm mmm. I quit drinking diet coke, or pop at all for that matter a few days ago due to a ridiculous caffiene headache that spanded several days. Anyways, let's get down to business. Today, I'm thankful that work ended eventually. I'm thankful that despite my many mistakes and moments of panic, I survived, and my patients survived. I'm thankful that my preceptor is so understanding and helpful. I'm thankful that tomorrow I have an IV course in the morning and get to take a little break from E200. I'm thankful that I will get to go home in a few days, and I'm thankful that Steven will be home while I'm home too. I pray for my Dad - I pray that he still has that job, and that he's doing okay with it. I pray that you would relieve any anxiety or fear, or doubt that he has, Lord. Please comfort him. I pray for my husband's presentation tomorrow, I pray that he would do well, and that his professor would be pleased. I pray for all of those who lost their homes, lives, loved ones in NC and surrounding regions due to tornadoes. Lord you are such a good God. You make us pure like Silver by fire. I feel that flames of this life, Lord and it helps me to know that you love me. Thank you God for you unworthy affection, your grace, your mercy; for saving a wretch like me. Amen Love, Sara

Plans, plans, plans

I feel taken over sometimes. Like, my first quilting project is now finished, and I'm consumed by what I'm going to do next, how I'm going to do it and what supplies I'm going to need. Then I look around and realize that our apartment is getting pretty messy, so then I think ok.. well I need to clean the windows, and the hallway needs swept and There's all this stuff laying around that doesn't really belong here, and Oh I have to go get groceries today, and I should take Rigby for a nice walk today, and then I start thinking about groceries and I think - wouldn't it be nice if I had yadda yadda, and maybe I could get this, wouldn't be too expensive. I did put $1000 into our savings account today because I just don't think we're very good at saving money unless we have to. At any rate. Lord, please remind me of all the things I do have, not all the things that I don't have.. and help me to have some self control when it comes to shopping and buying quilting fabrics and such. Please, lord help me to make wise decisions for our family and help me to put Josh's needs before my wants. Thank you for the glorious sunshine outside, Lord and thank you for healing me of my headache yesterday. Help me to glorify you today. Amen. Love, Sara

Hamburgers on the grill

Today Josh and I bought a little grill at Lowes so that we could have hamburgers on the grill. Good choice! The hamburgers were wonderful! I'm thankful for the taste of grilled meat. I'm thankful that naps can help headaches go away sometimes. I'm thankful that we got all of our laundry done today. I'm thankful that I got our budget done today. I'm thankful that we took Rigby for a nice long walk today, and I'm thankful that I got paid today. Thank you, Lord for all these wonderful blessings. I'm glad that I have this headache too, in a way because it means my body is getting used to not having caffeine coarsing through my veins. I really need to stop drinking so much caffiene. Tomorrow my big "to do" is going to be to get groceries. I can't really do much with my next quilting project at the moment becuase I'm collecting fabrics for it at the moment. Lord, grant me patience when it comes to my quilting projects. Thank you for quilting and how it makes me feel when I finish a project. I pray once again for my father. Please comfort him, please let him know of your love for him, and my love for him. Help him not to be scared, and please let it work out with a job. Provide the money that he needs to rent an apartment and get groceries, please keep him on his feet Lord. I know that you can help him. Please hear my prayers, Lord. Amen. Love, Sara

"Gonna make it work, but man these times are hard"

Isn't it funny how you can wake up in the morning with a completely random song stuck in your head? (hence the title of this post). It's quarter after 8 and I'm wide awake! =] So much for "sleeping in" but all that matters is that I feel rested, and I do. I have big plans for today, and it's rainy outside, so I think I might be able to get most of them accomplished. I hope to finish my quilt - now that I know how to put the binding on it. Jeez, I'm glad I researched some videos becuase I wasn't anywhere close. I won't ramble on with my to-do list but instead will get right along with my thank yous. I'm so thankful that I have a job. I'm thankful for my Rigby puppy, I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful for waking up rested. I'm thankful for contentment - although it is hard to find. I'm thankful for the rain, and the sunshine - although the rain could hold off a little since the river's already nearly engulfing the merrimack bridge. I'm thankful for our cozy apartment, and I look forward to continuing to put my "womanly" touches on it more and more as time goes along. I'm thankful that we caught the garbage truck in time - that would've been bad. I'm thankful once again for the news that my father got a job. I'm so very hopeful that he still has said job, and I pray Lord, that you would take care of him. Please God. He needs your help, I need your help - we all do. Thank you for your mercy, Lord. Amen. Love, Sara

3 day weekend

I am so thankful that I get to sleep in tomorrow. I'm so thankful that E200 has been easier than E100 so far. I'm so thankful that my preceptor Shelly is super nice. I lucked out completely with my 2 preceptors so far. I'm so thankful that my dad possibly got a job, and I want to spend the brunt of this message praying for him. Lord, thank you for providing a job for my father. Now, please help him keep it - I know that's asking a lot and he has to do some of the work too, but just comfort him, Lord. Help him to know that you're there and that everything is going to work out for him. Let him know that you love him dearly. Please, God I beg you. Help him to keep a job and provide a place for him to live. Help him to know you better. I don't know where he stands exactly on his faith, but you do, Lord... and I pray you would reach out to him. Thank you God, for the many blessings you've given to me and my family. Thank you Lord. Amen. Love, Sara

I love the ocean!

One of the major benefits of living in the New England area is the fact that everything is within driving distance. Today, Josh and I took Rigby to the ocean to play around. It was awesome! We stopped at Panera to get lunch, planned on having a picnic by the ocean but we got hungry on the way. haha. When we got there Rigby didn't quite know what to think. We threw around the tennis ball and she chased it up and down the beach. We found some clams that hadn't been eaten by the seagulls yet, and Rigby licked and snipped at them a little, haha. It was a beautiful day, and it made me so happy that we can go to an ocean (even if it isn't bathwater North Carolina Ocean), pretty much anytime we want, and lounge around on the beach for a couple hours. I'm SO excited to do that once summer comes. It was a whopping 60 some degrees today which was awesome! The sun was shining, and it was gorgeous outside. After we came back from the ocean, Josh and I took a nap together which was sweet, and I made dinner. Overall, I couldn't have been happier with today. It was a lot of fun, and it was just what I needed before I start 12 hour shifts on E200. Don't get me wrong, I'm super excited for 12's because I'll have more days off, but I know myself, and I'll be tired at first. I'm so so thankful for this life that God has blessed me with. I'm thankful for the ocean, the mountains, the cities, the towns, and the sunshine. I'm thankful for my loving husband and my baby-puppy girl.. our "substitute" child. haha. Thank you God!! Love, Sara

Spring is in the air

I took Rigby for a nice long walk this morning wearing just a sweater, and it was wonderful! It was sunny, and warm-ish. I also made myself a nice tasty, healthy dinner tonight which I enjoyed very much. I'm thankful that I got to sleep in this morning. I'm thankful that I had the day off to rest and recooperate. I'm thankful for tomorrow's plans to sleep in (of course) and go to the beach. I'm thankful for the Pirates even though it's painful being a fan (sometimes). I'm thankful for hot showers and snuggling with blankets and/or husband. I'm thankful that I was able to find a gynecologist appointment for less than 250$. I'm thankful that I haven't become pregnant yet, and I pray that it wouldn't happen anywhere in the near future... unless it's God's will, in which case I understand that he will provide for us. I pray that I would learn to trust completely and fully without doubts or deceitful thoughts. I pray that I would learn to depend on God, and that I would let him take control, instead of trying to make things happen for myself - selfish things at that. I pray that these next few weeks at work (12 hour shifts) would be kind to me, and I wouldn't be totally exhausted by the end of it. God, give me energy, give me strength... give me confidence and give me faith. Thank you, Lord. Amen. Love, Sara

My big day at work

I'm very proud of myself for still being awake at 9:45pm after working a 3-day stretch on E100. Brava to me! Today was a momentus one becuase I took my own patient assignment of 5 patients and survived. Not only did I survive, but I didn't hurt anyone in the process and managed to be somewhat productive. Sarah of course helped me and qued me when to speak to the Dr's, and whom to speak to, but other than that... =] it's a start! I'm so thankful that I have a job, and I'm thankful that I'm finally a nurse after 4 years of nursing school, blood sweat and tears, hours of sleep lost and way too much caffiene consumption. It definitely paid off. I'm thankful that my husband works so hard at his school work. I'm thankful that Rigby cuddles up next to me on the couch and keeps me company. I'm thankful that the Pirates are doing somewhat well so far this season! I'm thankful for the beautiful weather today, and the predicted beautiful weather this weekend. I'm thankful for Josh doing the dishes for me last night, and I pray that I can serve him as well as he's been serving me. I'm so thankful for this stretch of 3 days off, and I'm so excited to start my rotation on E200. Thank you God, for looking out for me, and for blessing me beyond my wildest dreams. Amen. Love, Sara

...and the courage...

A couple days ago, Josh and I ventured to Bed Bath and Beyond to acquire a few supplies to purdy up our bathroom. We put a full-lenth mirror on the wall so that I can see what I'm doing when getting ready for work in the wee hours of the morning, a basket to put on the back of the toilet to hold my hair straighteners, curling irons, etc, and finally - the man's touch, a basket for "reading materials" that goes on the floor. Overall, it looks so nice! (Only, it needs to be cleaned now. haha). But what got me thinking is how buying one thing often leads to buying another, and it's very easy for me to get selfish and absorbed in making my house, well.. apartment... look picture perfect. I find that in most things, I'm enamored with the end result, instead of contently enjoying the journey. This is something I'd like to work on. Same goes with nursing attire and regular every-day attire. If I want something new to wear, all of a sudden I want a whole new wardrobe. I'm thankful that this has come to my attention and I've noticed this weakness about myself. I'm thankful that I can pray to a God who not only hears, but listens and who will help me grow in this way and many others. I'm thankful for my wonderful husband, who works so hard at school so that some day we can support our children. I'm so very, very blessed. Amen. Love, Sara

God, Grant me the Strength...

I survived my first weekend of work. I didn't enjoy it. It was very busy, and I still feel like I'm not quite ... there yet. Which - perhaps that's normal, but I'd really love to get there. Here's another thing... there's an opening, well... there's a job posted on the CMC job board for ED.. full time, benefits and everything - night shift. EXACTLY what I wanted. I'm going to apply for it, of course, but I don't know if it'll work out since I'm a newby. I am an employee of CMC, and I am a Registered Nurse, finally. I prayed about it today, and I think that's just what I'll keep doing. I'll keep praying, and hope that God gives me an answer. I need to trust, and I need to remind myself that I'm blessed to have a job at all - and it is enough. I enjoy my job as a nurse, I love what I do. I feel badly when my patients are in pain, and I really hope that they all get better, and get out of the hospital. I know I would hate to be admitted somewhere. No sleep, constant in and out of people in the rooms, and IV pumps going off - I'm sure the beds aren't that comfortable either. Lord, I pray that you would grant me the strength to be a servant to my patients, grant me the patience I need to be supportive of them, and grant me the wisdom to be their advocate. I pray that you would continue to bless our little family, and I thank you graciously for the blessings we've been receiving. You are too kind, Lord. I pray that you would lead me in the right direction, and answer my prayers about the Emergency Department position. Thank you, Lord. Yours Always, Amen. Love, Sara

April Foools

My Dad called me today after I got home from work. He said that a letter came in the mail from PHEAA, and he didn't know if it was important or not so he decided to open it and check it out. Well, apparently I owed them 2000 some dollars because my grace period was declined or something. I totally bought it. Every cent... then he said, do you know what day it is? April fools. Good one Dad. He always manages to get me with april fools jokes. I'm glad my father has such a good sense of humor. I'm thankful that work's over for today, and I'm thankful that I wasn't too awful exhausted when I came home today. I'm thankful that my chinese stir-fry turned out pretty good, and that my banana nut bread from yesterday turned out good too. I'm so happy that we got our refund from our taxes. I'm thankful that I got to work safely today, and that it wasn't bad when I was coming home from work. I really hope and pray that we don't have any more bad snow-storms till next winter, because my car's just not cut out for the snow. Thank you Lord, for getting me to work safely - you really listened to and answered my prayers. Please help me to continue to give good care to my patients and protect them. Amen. Love, Sara