"Money, it's a crime..."

We need wisdom now. My loans are all entering repayment this month which means next month we will have to start paying a hefty sum every month just for school loans. In addition, both of our cars are dying and we've been researching cars within our price range, of course finding one way out of our price range but it seems like a great idea - could we handle monthly payments on a car as well as my loans right now? Josh is working and bringing in a paycheck now, but what about when he's back in school, and should I even be worrying about any of this - because God knows everything. There's a difference between trusting in God and making whimsical decisions and hoping God will pick up the slack. I feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders and I wish sometimes for high school days to return. What little responsibility I had then - remember my saxophone for band practice, and shoes for cross country. I remember always wanting to be a grown up then, so maybe hind-sight is 20/20 in this instance. Lord, I lift this up to you. I pray for your guidance. I pray that you would provide for us - like you have been doing, and I pray that you would just speak to us, Lord. Let us know what to do. I also lift this job that I'm working in to you, I lift my feelings of this job, and I pray about this full-time position I have applied for. I pray that you would consider it, and if it is not your will, that I would accept that graciously. Thank you, Lord for providing. Thank you for this job that I have - giving me experience and means to pay our bills. Thank you for your wonderful mercy, your wonderful grace, please hear these prayers, Lord. In your name Amen.

Love, Sara

Learning to be patient, and content; right where I am

Today, my temporary boss asked me for my availability for the next 6 weeks. In my opinion, those were the worst words she has said to me yet. I've been looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, I've been searching for a way out, and now she tells me my sentence has been extended - well into August? I find it very difficult to find peace about this news, and see the good in it. The good in it... is that I get paid more since it is night shift and she has me on 40 hours a week. The good in it, is that I have a relaxing and sometimes down-right boring job. That's about all I can muster up. But the Lord has called me to be a servant. The Lord has provided for me. The bible says in so many word that when you complain about what the Lord has given you, it's like saying his plan for you is not good enough. I do not know better than God. God is in control, and I have to learn to find joy in that, not my unfortunate circumstances. I need to find joy in God, and the fact that he has saved me from a cruel and bitter end. God has provided a job for which I can provide for our small family - and that is what I have been praying for. So, Lord... give me the strength, give me the endurance, give me the obedience, give me the humility, give me the willpower, and give me your grace to exemplify your name, and bring honor to you. I pray that I would live as an example of your word, and in doing so change peoples lives. Thank you, Lord. Amen.

Love, Sara

On Fire for God

I want to be submerged in God's word, in his plan for me, in his will, in his love. I live some days without giving God a second thought - and that scares me. I want to really know what it is to live out the word of God, to live for God. I want to really know what I'm talking about when I tell others about the love of Jesus, and about life-truths found in the Bible. I've found recently that my want to have a garden is greater than my want to know Christ. My want to sleep is greater than my want to serve, and my want to "lay around" is greater than my want to chase after truth like I'm on fire for God. I've been reading blogs, and seeing how others live out the life of christ, and it was an eye-opener for me. Made me realize that I'm not doing it quite right, and that there are way more ways to be living for God than just reading a chapter in the bible, not giving it any thought - or going to care group twice a month, or church twice a month. There's way more to it than that. It's not so much a day to day thing as it is an hour to hour thing. Thank you, Lord for opening my eyes, and I pray that you would take control here - I pray that you would guide me. I pray that you would teach me, and that I would have the energy, strength, and attitude to chase after you hour after hour. I pray that you would light a fire within my heart, within my soul to follow you. I pray that you would save me from my laziness. Thank you, Lord for your grace, and mercy. Thank you for opening my eyes. Amen.

Love, Sara

This, my 150th post!

I thoroughly enjoy waking up and reading about everybody else's lives - through facebook, and blogs. I sit here doing my morning routine as Rigby tries to trim my fingernails for me by chewing on my fingers, and barks at me restlessly to go for a walk - little does she know it's 90 some degrees outside! I enjoy my little hobbies, like quilting, cleaning up the house (that should totally count as a hobby), and cooking and baking! And the more I think about the mundane - the routine - the more I realize that those things are a privilege as well! It's not just the big things like going to the ocean for a day, or going home for 5 days that are truly a blessing, it's the everyday things that are truly a blessing. I'm thankful that I have the strength and energy to keep our apartment in decent shape. I'm thankful that I have a way to connect with friends even though we live so far apart. I'm thankful that I have my sewing machine, and fabric - and agile hands unworn by age for quilting with. I'm thankful for Rigby who is my friend and companion. I'm thankful for my husband who puts in long hours at work so that we can go home this weekend, and spend a day at the beach tomorrow. I'm thankful for the sunshine and warm weather, I'm thankful for the beauty in pictures - especially wedding pictures - from afar. I'm thankful that I have a bible to read - and have access to that bible nearly everywhere. I truly believe that we should adopt some form of reading the bible together every day - I know that may be hard, but we nearly always have the bible with us, and nearly always eat dinner together. Lord, thank you for these wonderful ideas of how to incorporate you, and your word into our daily lives. I pray that you would make time for us, and that we would be able to focus on you before silly things like work, and cleaning. Amen.

Love, Sara

What a beautiful day!

It's absolutely gorgeous outside. The sun is shining, there's the distant hum of a lawn-mower outside, the birds are chirping - there's a gentle breeze floating in through the bay windows. You know, Josh and I are truly lucky. I was just thinking about our date to go to the beach on Thursday, and you know what? It's so cool that we can even plan a day-trip to the ocean! It's easy to look at things and get complacent - to look at people's houses, and the clothes and jewelry that they wear, the decorations in their houses, it's easy to wish that we had that. We are just starting out though - and right now is going to be harder than it will be in the future. With Josh working right now, we're doing fine and dandy! And of course God has been providing and will continue to provide for us. I'll be able to do more shifts here and there soon, and pick up fun things like "time and a half" or "critical pay", not to mention weekend, evening and night-shift differentials. That's a fun thing about working night shift. But.. it's not all about the money or the "things" that you put in your home, or on your body. It's about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. "Lovest thou me, Lovest thou me, more than these?" Maybe that's what I'll do while I pack up my textbooks today - I'll throw on Ernie Haas & Signature Sound! I haven't listened to them in a while! Anyways, I'm so thankful for music, and I'm thankful for care group. We had a wonderful time last night at care group, and I look forward to getting to know Mickey, and Lauren better - well, and everyone better. God certainly provides... provides money for the groceries, warmth for the home, and friends and companions for the soul. Thank you God! You are too too good!

Love, Sara

Our Rigby girl has been in destruction mode hardcore... and I'm not thrilled about it. SO FAR, she's destroyed Josh's flip flop, my flip flop, too many pairs of underwear to count, and now our little coffee-table thing and one of my binders it looks like. It's making it really hard for me not to flip out at her. But, having said that... these things are just worldy things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. It looks pretty trashy (our coffee table) and costs us more money (flip flops and underwears).. which is annoying, but our salvation with God is unaltered. So, I'm thankful for that promise, I'm thankful for feeling awake after a full night's work, I'm thankful that I only have tonight and then have another day off. I'm thankful that it's not raining outside, I'm thankful for the fun time we had yesterday at Franconia State Notch - and I'm thankful that we have the means to be able to go do fun stuff like that. Right now, we're going to buy Josh a new computer cord, because his broke. It's almost 2:00pm, and that means I have a good amount of time before I have to go to work again tonight. Lord, thank you so much for listening to prayers and showing your grace and mercy again and again. We are so undeserving, I am so sinful, so ungrateful. Please remind me every day of how much I Need you, and I pray that you would intervene in my father's life. Please show him your face, and provide for him, Lord. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Love, Sara

I survived night 1 of night-shift. It was pretty slow, and I had to write down random thoughts into a Word Document just to stay awake and alert... wasn't a bad night though - had 5 admissions, which is more than I expected to have. The good news is I'm down to the line on the scale - 130! not 131, or a little over 130, smack dab on the line! whoo hoo! I figured I'd sleep till 3 today, but I'll just take a nap tonight before work - and I think it won't be a problem tonight because I'm still kind of groggy. I'm very thankful that I'm not too adversely affected by night shift, I'm thankful that I didn't forget to do stuff, I'm thankful that I'm bringing home a paycheck. I really don't want to "take a lunch break" because I'll be getting out before 7:15 9 times out of ten I imagine, but Diane told me to, so I feel like it would be bad for me not to. Well, anyways - Lord I pray you would provide for us, even though I know I don't have to ask, and that you already will/have! I pray that you would provide me with energy, and will-power to resist over-eating to keep myself awake at night, and I pray that my dad would find a job, and that he would be comforted in you, and find peace in you. Please, Lord - take care of my father. I pray you would be with my grandfather too, Lord. I pray you would give him strength, and I pray most of all that he would come to know you well before he passes. Thank you, for your mercy and grace. Thank you for your many blessings. Amen.

Love, Sara