My battle with Nursing

If you haven't seen on facebook, Josh got an internship with the immigration law firm! It isn't paid, but at least he will not be leaving me for New Hampshire.

I had my first night at work off orientation and it was pretty rough. I find myself once again questioning my chosen profession of nursing... if I'm cut out for this job, if I can continue to do this for a long time - it's really exhausting switching from days to nights, and being responsible for 5-6 patient's lives at one time. As I was talking with Josh last night, I realized though - that more than the stress of the job and all the responsibility, I don't like what it has taken from me. My goal when I was in college (before ever meeting Josh) was to start my job as a nurse in small-ville PA, find a guy, get married, have babies, become a member of the worship team at my local church and maybe even become a care group leader (along with prospective husband) and live happily ever after. Well... I'm not in small-ville PA, that's for sure. I did marry the love of my life, and someday children will be on the horizon, but those other things - getting really connected with the church, and becoming a member of the worship team? I feel like I can't commit to anything.. because my schedule is so crazy, and I can't be at church every Sunday because I work every other weekend. I also had the thought that after Josh and I got settled in Pittsburgh I would try to join a choral group or something like my brother does with a local college in Scranton.. there has to be a ton of opportunity in the city. Then I realized in order to become a part of something like that you need to be able to commit to rehearsals, and heck - performances too!

Music has always been a huge part of my life, before nursing was ever a blip on the radar. And I'm so sad that it's falling away from me. I never sing anymore. I haven't played the piano in months and months... And not all of that is entirely because of nursing, I understand that. Part of it is my initiative to pick up the guitar or sing along with the radio when I'm home doing nothing. I guess, I'm asking for prayers - pray that God would tell me where I'm supposed to be, and if this is what he would have me doing right now, pray that I would be content, and that I would find joy in doing his will. Thank you Friends, and Praise the Lord for answered prayers regarding Josh's internship!

Thanks, Sara.