New Years Resolutions

I'm not usually one to document or even take new years resolutions seriously, but I've noticed a few things, a few bad habits in my life that I would like to change. First and foremost - the gym (of course). I would like to make it a point to go at least 3 times a week. AT LEAST. Unless of course, Josh and I are traveling back to PA, in which case I'm not going to exercise while I'm vacationing. Second, I would like to get up before 10am every day, and get moving at a decent time. There are things that I could be getting done in the morning. Especially if I know I have to work and laundry or dishes desperately need done, I need to wake up earlier and get those things done before work. Third, I would like to make it more of a point to have devotional time every day, not just when I remember once or twice a week. Fourth, I would like to spend more time playing my guitar and singing. Fifth, and this will be my last, I would like to attempt to be a little more out-going with the girls from work. Christine has talked about going out to lunch before but I've never attempted to make a reciprocal "let's hang out" offer. Also, Michelle is coming back to work soon, and I should offer to help her with the baby some day if she needs to get things accomplished around the house. Kelly invited me out to drinks the one night, and it fell through, but perhaps we could find something else to do. And I need to get better about giving back to my girls at work. I ask for an awful lot of help when I'm working, hey guys can you do this, hey guys, can someone do that. It's about time I give back. I have responsibilities as a member of the team, it's about time I've stepped up. This isn't just a J.O.B. This is my career, and it's about time I start treating it that way. I need to set up dentist and eye appointments for Josh and I. Also, reaching out at church is a big one. We've started a good friendship/relationship with several people in the church, I don't need to be afraid to go - even by myself. And if I can get to care-group, that would be magnificent. Maybe I could find someone to trade me if I'm working the 2nd and 4th mondays of the month. I think that falls on my weekend off though. Anyways, I'm rambling now - but here's my list of highly ambitious resolutions and goals for the new year. Lord, Please hear my prayers, please help me to get better at my sinful habits, and help me to rest in you each and every day. Help me to follow your word, and crave to know you better. Give me a hopeful and giving heart. All of these things I pray in your precious name, Amen.

Love, Sara

Mind over matter

I just finished a little work-a-thon with three days working, one day off, and another three days working. Realistically - looking back, I was tired, but it wasn't impossible or unmanageable. I made it seem like it though. I whined and complained and talked about how tired I waaassss... I look at others who have children at home to care for and work 6 day stretches solid all the time, and still have time for family and a social life. I know of one woman in particular who works 2 jobs and has 3 children at home. I look at them in envy, because I would love to pick up extra hours to make a nice pay-check, and I would love to have more time to dedicate to keeping our apartment clean or making sure the laundry's done. I feel lazy and inadequate. Some of it is energy level...I do believe that it's possible to over-load yourself and burn out, but I'm guessing that most of it is my state-of-mind. I dread going to work, and I think "Oh, I've worked 3 days, so I'm tired". If only my thinking were different.. would that still be the case? I look at this woman I was talking about - and she's just SO optimistic and upbeat. Even if she's handed the worst assignment on the board, she's ready for it, smiling all the way. I have that "dread" feeling as soon as I walk in the doors and see that there are 20 patients on the unit. It's a state-of-mind that's keeping me from glorifying God. I'm sure with my moaning and complaining and making drama out of every single situation at work I'm not glorifying God. I'm not setting a very good example for Christians with how I'm behaving. I need to change it, I need to fix it! This isn't good! It's that feeling that I'm privileged to days off and to rest and relaxation, I'm privileged to a decent assignment at work, I'm privileged to spend a day vegging out and being unproductive when there's laundry and dishes and dog hair everywhere. I'm privileged to sleep in till 9:30 every morning and when I don't get to I'm privileged to be a grouch. Realistically, I'm blessed to be breathing. Blessed that I can do that laundry or the dishes, or go to work and provide for my family. I'm blessed with work in this struggling economy. That's needs to be my state-of-mind at ALL times. Dearest friends, I'll keep praying. But please pray for me as well. Thank you, Lord!

Love, Sara

Graduating Nursing School Anniversary

It's been an entire year since I graduated! How crazy! This means 2 things. a.) I'm not technically a new grad anymore, and b.) I have 9 months experience at the job I'm at now! I will have over 6months on the D200 unit alone. And hopefully will have ACLS under my belt at that point. Oh goodness I need to sign up for my BLS renewal, and figure out what in the world is going on with the EBP stuff at work. I really want to be a part of this committee, but they are all pretty experienced nurses, and I feel out of place. Not to mention Deb Pichette is there with the staffing effectiveness committee and won't make conversation with me to save her life. That upsets me. BUT this post isn't to complain. It's to celebrate and thank God for the many wonderful things he's done in my life - provide a job, a steady job with health inurance and benefits, provide the knowledge and grace to get through nursing school, provide competence and grace every day to get me through my days as a nurse. It's scary business, holding someone's life in your hands. I should see this preceptor thing as a challenge - for me to perform in the best way that I can, being completely and 100% accurate. That's how I will view it. Thank you Lord, for the many many blessings you've given me. I pray that you would keep me humble, remind me that I'm not priviledged to anything and give me a thankful heart. Amen!

Love, Sara

Anxiety

Something that I battle with all too often. Anxiety about leaving the apartment, about going to work, about going to the gym even.. Ridiculous anxiety, for no good reason. I always feel better about myself when I go out and get things accomplished, but my brain tells me "just sit here a little while longer..." "You don't need to go to the store right this minute..." and sometimes I fall victim to its requests. Then, I let time slip away until it's too late to get the thing accomplished that I was going to do, and I feel hugely guilty to Josh. It's then, a vicious cycle because I have even more things to get accomplished for the next day, and not much time to do them all in. Dishes, laundry, take Rigby for a walk, call the family, make dentist appointments, make vision appointments, bake more christmas cookies. I wish that was a make-believe list, but it's my real list of things to do today, save for christmas cookies, and after 3 days off to get everything under the sun accomplished, I have to work today. It's frustrating and pitiful that I let my anxiety get the best of me. It's annoying that I waste 3 perfectly good days off. I need to learn to function on my own at some point in my life. I need to learn to lean on God and let him motivate me to be a productive member of society. I need to trust God with finances, and big life decisions. The house that Josh and I have been watching closely in Pittsburgh has disappeared from one of the realty websites - which most likely means it was sold. This only added to my depression and defeat yesterday, but that's silly of me. I need to realize that if God didn't have it planned for us, it won't work out that well. I would rather have what God has planned than to go against the grain and meet resistance at every step trying to get something that I want. God is good, he will give me what I need, and sometimes even what I want. How is it so easy to forget these truths? But I can remember how to say "where is your pain?" in Spanish after a small lesson from Josh - It's just silly. I really need to spend more time delving into scripture and practicing real truths than hiding in my apartment pining over my lack of family and friends at arm's length. Work is good for me - an object in motion stays in motion. An object at rest, stays at rest. It always seems like a good idea to have a 'veg' day, but I always, always 100% of the time regret it. Never once have I felt like - Yeah! That was a great veg day!, I'm always tired, miserable, feel like I haven't accomplished anything and all I want to do is sleep. That's another thing that needs to change - waking up at a decent hour and getting started with my day before 11am. But, we'll do small steps for now. One thing at a time for now. Please, friends - whoever reads this silly Blog, pray for me. Pray that God would intervene in my life and remind me of His truths when I'm lost in darkness. Pray that I would remind myself of His truths too. Lord, thank you for this gift of life, this wonderful life I have. Teach me to be content, and help me to trust in you with all my heart, soul, body, mind. Please, Lord intervene in my life. Thank you, Lord. Amen.

Love, Sara

Trust in the Lord

Tonight, as I was decorating out small apartment with lights and nativity scene, I was day-dreaming of having a house someday, in which we could decorate the outside too. But then I realized that the only Christmas decorations we have are 2 strings of lights, a nativity scene gifted to us from my mother, a wreath gifted to us from my mother-in-law, and the tree decorations (in blue and brown - I was obsessed with our wedding colors). I've thought this several times... when/if we move into a house, it will be rather empty for a period of time. It's lucky for us that we're even able to entertain the thought of moving into a house at this period in our lives. But I look at time as slipping away! I'm already 23 years old! I want to have children before I'm 30. But we'll still be paying off student loans for another 12 years, and we'll still be paying off our car for another 5 years. How and when do children come into the mix? And how on earth are we going to save up for a down-payment on a house in this economy, and with a single income? But it always comes back to trusting in God. Trusting that God will provide, trusting in His perfect timing, trusting in His perfect plan. Also, NOT trusting in the things of this world. Being content with what we have, not what we could have in the future. Being content doing His work, not having my life goal to own a big beautiful house with expensive jewelry and clothes, but serving God humbly. Delving into the Bible every morning instead of perusing "Real Simple Magazine". Trusting in God.

Matthew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money."

I need frequent reminding of these things, but God is gracious and is patient with me. He will continue to remind me gently, and guide me in the right direction. Until then, pray for me, that I would strive to live for God and die to myself.

Love, Sara

The past 2 weeks have been jam-packed with work, work and more work, as well as a mock-trial and a trip to Boston in between. I'm happy to be having today and tomorrow off, and looking forward to the weekend in which Josh and I will pick and decorate a christmas tree, I'll start making cookies, decorating the apartment, and all that fun stuff! I'm in the Christmas spirit, as they say.

I'm also excited that I've been accepted for the dysrhythmia course at work - after I pass this course, I can move forward and get my ACLS certification. I thought I'd be one to sit back and enjoy monotony after I graduated nursing school, but I guess I'm just used to the fire under my buns, and need to continue making achievements. (which is never a bad thing). I'm looking forward to hopefully getting a job in Pittsburgh, in which I can support our little family until Josh is able to get a job. But as always, these are our plans, not God's plans - and his plans, are the only plans to live by.

It's a rainy day outside, which is actually kind of perfect for today. I want to take it easy, take it slow, get a few things around the house done, and heal. There is so much Rigby hair floating everywhere that I can hardly stand it! And Josh is on his last pair of boxers, which means that laundry must be done. A few groceries for the house, the dishes - cleaning all of the left-overs that were never touched out of the fridge, and making dinner. Perhaps throw some quilting and reading in there, and it sounds like a full and perfect day. Josh is going to be rather busy with school today and tomorrow, so it's somewhat perfect that I have so much to keep me busy.

Ever thankful for...
1.) Christmas lights, music, and the message of Christ
2.) The light pitter-patter of rain outside
3.) Sitting down with my morning cup of coffee once again
4.) Not waking up in the middle of the night with stomach issues
5.) Quilting projects

Love! Sara

Bad days...

I feel in a funk today. I feel pessimistic and gloomy. I had a bad night at work last night, and I'm picking up a bunch of extra hours this week, so I'm pretty tired by this point. I have to see the good in things though. I have to be thankful even so.

1.) I'm thankful that we can pay our bills.
2.) I'm thankful for sunshine outside
3.) the Christmas season
4.) my friends at work that make things so much better - even during a bad day.
5.) always and ever thankful for my wonderful husband.

Just like Josh is looking forward to Christmas break, I have to look forward to my breaks too, I have a 2 day and then a 3 day stretch coming up that I can relax, get things around the apartment accomplished and prepare for Christmas. I'm so looking forward to Christmas this year - I think it will be a lot of fun! I do feel bad that after 2pm I must leave Josh behind to fend for himself while I go to work. There's also a stretch of 5 days where we intend to journey back to Indiana and Clearfield Pennsylvania in January. How exciting! See, there are always bright things to look forward to in periods of gloom. Amen!

Love, Sara

Back in New Hampshire

Josh and I had a wonderful time back in Pennsylvania. It reminds me of how much I miss it when we go back. Thanksgiving dinner with his family was wonderful - lots of amazing food. I was happy to hang out with Sue, Amanda and Kara quite a bit while we were back as well! I've never had a sister before, and it's certainly something to get used to - but I do enjoy it ever so much! I had fun at my mom's as well, Rigby was happy to run around in wide open fields. And thanksgiving dinner with my brother, Brandy and my Dad was fun as well! It's an adjustment, I'm sure... for my Dad to be living with my brother. I pray for him, that God would smile on him, provide an opportunity for a job, and that he would be able to find a place to live close to family and loved ones. Other readers - If you would also do me the favor of praying for my Dad, it would be greatly appreciated.

I'm hugely thankful for
1.) family, and friends.
2.) the rolling hills of pennsylvania
3.) the christmas season
4.) my wonderful husband whom I get to share my life with
5.) new scrubs! (haha)

That's all for now! Until next time, May God bless you, as he has been ever so kind to me.

Love, Sara

Thanksgiving

Josh and I are so excited to go home. Tomorrow, I just have work, and then Wednesday morning we're leaving first thing for Indiana, Pennsylvania. I have to say, I'm looking forward to the time away from work, the time with family and friends, the quality time with husband. Not to mention counting my blessings on Thanksgiving, because every day should be thanksgiving. One day out of the year doesn't cut it. We have so many things in this world to be thankful for, I do! I know I'm blessed beyond words. I'm thankful for home-cooked meals, for cleaning the apartment, the smell of candles burning all day long, for quilting projects, for afternoons reading in bed, for straightened hair before 12 in the afternoon. I'm thankful for Rigby, and Josh. I'm thankful for our apartment with beautiful hard-wood floors, I'm thankful for groceries gotten, I'm thankful that I have the self control to drink water instead of diet coke. I'm thankful for health - both mine and Josh's, and our families. I'm thankful that my grandfather has made it this far in life and that he was able to be at my wedding. I'm thankful for many many more things as well, but this post is just to name a few. I will do my best to find things to be thankful for in the midst of struggles, in the midst of bitterness, anger... and happiness. Give thanks always. That is my goal, that is my mission.

Amen!

Safe travels friends, and a very happy Thanksgiving!!

God provides

God provides the things you need, the things you want but don't really need and the things you've convinced yourself you would die without. Last night I was sent home early from work because we were over-staffed. I felt like I really needed to go home because I was so exhausted. Realistically, I could have stayed. Realistically? I could have picked up the shift today (but Rigby does have an appointment that she needs to go to.) I get myself into a mindset that I'm tired, I'm burned out, I'm exhausted, and ta-daaah! I feel tired, burned out, exhausted. I sleep the proper amount - actually probably more than the proper amount - basically every day. I have 3 days off a week, whether I pick up extra hours or not. I have rather relaxing days off. My ever-negative mindset will be the death of me, I swear it. I need to have hope - I need to trust in Christ, I need to remember the glory of salvation.

1 Peter 2:9-10 "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy."

If you take this to mean God's chosen ones, the one's he has chosen to save, it's enlightening, encouraging, uplifting! Remembering the days that I was not a Christian and what a deep dark depression I suffered from, and what an empty void that I felt and couldn't seem to fill. How much richer my life is now that God has saved me from condemnation. How much mercy I have experienced. May this be the first thing to enter my mind, not... "i'm tired". Lord, thank you for your amazing grace, your amazing mercy, and for choosing a sinner like me. I pray that you would remind me of these things when I get discouraged or complain. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Love, Sara

God, give me the strength...

I've been picking up a lot of hours at work recently due to the fact that Christmas is just around the corner, and we're trying to save up money for other reasons as well. I find myself rather exhausted. I find myself making up excuses for why I didn't clean the kitchen counters and vacuum the carpet, and sweep up Rigby hair. I find myself wanting to just sleep all day. But I also find that when I do just sleep all day, I feel awful - just as awful, if not more-so, than I did when I was simply exhausted. In James 5:13-16 it says "Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. ..... The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." Perhaps, as this scripture illuminates, I need to pray. Pray for strength, sing praises for blessings, pray for healing, pray for energy. It's easy to roam through the day, and get frustrated and exhausted, and then when I'm finally at my whit's end, I'll kneel in prayer. This isn't the way to do it though - Pray often! Give thanks, often!

Things to be thankful for:
1.) hot coffee
2.) my education, and the fact I can manage to pay off my loans without forbearance
3.) cookies for breakfast
4.) hot showers
5.) God's word, the holy bible - and that we have at least 6 in our apartment, easy access!

Shower, take Rigby for a walk, clean the apartment, make something wonderfully scrumptious for dinner, go to the gym, and cuddle with husband. What a wonderful day I have ahead of me.

Love, Sara

Day-Dreaming

Dear Lord, I am thankful for my wonderful husband, for my silly overly protective dog, for friends, best friends, old friends, family, for promise in the future, for having a secure job in this age and economy. I'm thankful for my pretty haircut. I'm thankful for being down to 125 lbs. I'm thankful for mushy gushy movies that make me happy inside. I'm thankful for words of encouragement in God's word. I'm thankful for growth.

For all of these things I am thankful for, but I do pray for guidance. I pray for stability. I pray for doors to be opened in Pittsburgh, if that is Your will, Lord. I pray for you, God, to smile on us in this time of instability. I pray that You would comfort us. Please, hear my prayers Lord.

Amen

Ann Voskamp's book... 1000 gifts

A dare to live fully, right where you are... is the tag-line of the book. So, as I always have since high school, I accept the dare. This blog was remade to be me giving thanks to God in order to help me think positively and be more grateful for the things I already have in life. After reading this book, it helps me to realize that a.) I'm not the only person who struggles with pessimistic tendencies, and b.) it's not as easy as it sounds to turn your thinking around in a day. Either way, I'm going to try, try again, and do my best to be changing. A pastor at TCC in Dubois once said that Earth is not the goal, you will never be "changed" here on earth, but the goal is to be changing in preparation for Heaven. So, here we go.

1.) I am thankful that work called and cancelled me this morning.

2.) for hot coffee that awakens

3.) for snuggles with husband

4.) for the leaves, orange, and red, and yellow

5.) for smell of baking goodies

Lord, You have blessed me beyond my wildest dreams already in this life, with a wonderful husband, a good job, the knowledge and will-power to make it through school (couldn't have done that on my own!) Living in such a wonderful city with such wonderful neighbors and landlords... The fact that we can walk to a place like White's park every day and take in the beauty of your creations, geese, seagulls, blue heron, changing of trees, children playing, running, laughing. I'm very thankful that we can live in an apartment like this, and that we make ends meet every month. I know others who have to work harder than I, and have difficulty making rent and bills at the end of the month. Lord, I pray that you would provide for families struggling, I pray that you would be with my Dad as he transitions, make this an easy move for him, make him open to your will, and comfort him, Lord. Forgive me for doubting you when I prayed for that before. Forgive me for not doing my best at work the other night, and thank you for convicting me of it, moving me, rustling within me to change. All these things, I thank you Lord. Amen

Love, Sara

enlightening trip home...

Josh and I went home over the weekend for two purposes, to see my grandfather (whose health is failing), and to clean out my things from my father's house (he's selling the house). Neither of these things were positive emotionally for me. I was feeling a lot of stress building up to going home, and then even the first day and a half we were there stress stress stress, but I realized somewhere along the way that it's not the end of the world, and ultimately I was trying harder to please people than to please God. God always redirects me when I get in too deep to see my way out. When I hit rock bottom, he lifts me up. When it all seems hopeless, he gives me hope. There is more to life than work and cleaning. There is time for family and loved ones. There is time to have hobbies - to read and quilt, and take Rigby for runs, and exercise, eat right. There is more to life than the day-to-day stuff. I was fixated on "when will we have a house", and "will we be moving back to Pittsburgh for sure" and "Josh is never able to spend time with me because of all his homework" (which is inaccurate) and wasn't thinking about how wonderful this time in our lives is. We're making a foundation for our future. There are bright lights, I just have to get better about opening my eyes. The season's changing - it's October! My favorite month of the year, it's going to be Josh's Birthday soon - how exciting! I finally have a nicer schedule with more than just one day off at a time! We're not desperately struggling with finances! We have a squeaky clean apartment right now! I'm almost done with one of the books I've been wanting to read for over a month! and have 3 more already on the list. I found a new quilting book when I was cleaning things out of my room. I haven't quilted anything for a while! Maybe it's time to get back into that. So, as always, I'll close with prayer. Lord, you are so good to me. You give me a hopeful heart, you give my life purpose and meaning. You bless me, over and over and I don't deserve it. I pray that you would be with my Dad. I pray that you would help him find a job and make a transition from the house easy and without difficulty. I pray that you would be with my mom and my grandpa. Give my mom strength and energy to care for my grandfather, give her comfort. Give my grandfather strength to help my mom, but most of all, if he has not found you, I pray that he would. I pray that you would show yourself to him, and let him know what it really means to give your life to Christ. I pray for Josh - I pray that he would have the energy and dedication to complete all of his work for this week. I pray that you would guide him through law school. I also pray that you would open doors for us in Pittsburgh, so that we can move closesr to home - if it be your will, Lord. Thank you for all your blessings Lord. In your name I pray, Amen.

Love, Sara

Writer's Lament

Yesterday I had a miserable day. I had a miserable headache for the entire morning/afternoon, and then the entire evening my stomach was upset and a mess. Last night I was unable to get a "good" night's sleep. I need to start waking up earlier so that I can actually sleep, and enjoy sleep again. I haven't slept well for a few nights now, and we're going to be going back to Clearfield, so I doubt my sleeping habbits will improve until we make our way back to New Hampshire. I feel lazy, frustrated, depressed... I look forward to a house in Pittsburgh but the nagging thought in the back of my mind is that none of that fantasy is for sure. Josh doesn't have an internship in Pittsburgh nailed down, I don't have a job nailed down. The more and more my grandfather's health fails the more I think that we can't live here forever. It's too difficult coordinating trips home. I miss my family. I miss my brother. I miss my family-in-law too. I think of some of the beautiful houses here in New England, I think of how much I want that someday. I think of how nice it would be to go out and spend a little money on new clothes every now and then, or how it would feel to not have to watch our budget so closely. How nice it would be to say - heck with it, let's go to Montreal for the weekend. I feel hopeless, and lonely. Josh is busy with school, again. I knew this would come and it makes me really look forward to when he is not in school any longer. We just have 1.5 semesters left until he's done with school. Not that it's going to magically make everything "all better" when he is done with school... And looking forward to things like that have gotten me into trouble in the past.. how "different" things would be when we were married, and how "different" things would be when we were living "on our own" and... how "different" things would be when I got a job. I need to find contentment in the here and now, and not out of worldy things like a house, or new clothes, or money. When I try to do that I find myself feeling like this - miserable, depressed, empty, lonely. It's time once again to focus on the things I do have. Right now. Right here. Not the things I "could have" in the future. Lord, I need your help, because I'm a broken sinful person. I turn to things in this world for comfort. I turn to the hopes of a house of our own, I turn to clothes, shoes, etc... I turn to ridiculous things for comfort, and what I really need is You. A house will never fill the void in my heart. Only You. So please, Lord. Meet me here. Help me up, help me stand. Give me peace within my soul. Help me to find contentment in You. Please, Lord.

Amen.

Books and reading

I miss reading. I used to read all summer, used to finish a book in the matter of a day or two. Now, I'm lucky if I read my bible every day. But the thing I need to take away from this is, my life is not overly crazy. My life is peaceful now compared to what it will be with children, soccer games, baseball practice, school, band?? who knows. But I can realize that now I have the opportunity to get settled into married life with all its stressors and craziness, get comfortable there, and bring on the children after I'm adjusted a little better. This all seems overly calculated and probably pretty nerdy. I'm making excuses for why I don't get anything done, and why I sleep in until 9 or 10am every single morning. Waking up at 8:30 this morning was appalling to me. Imagine if I woke up just an hour or 2 before I normally do though, I could get so much more done! The dishes, the cleaning, the laundry, running errands. If only I were diligent enough to do it. Rigby lays beside me on the couch, itching her nose, cuddling close, desperate for attention. Poor girl was meant for more than this small apartment, and she knows it.

Love, Sara

It's a beautiful day

I love sitting on the couch in the morning, drinking my coffee and perusing the internet with Rigby on her window seat and the windows letting in a cool breeze. It's not too sunny outside today, but it still looks beautiful - like a fall day. The leaves are starting to fall from the tree out front, and the temperatures are certainly getting cooler. It reminds me that another season in life is coming to a close. A lot has happened this summer, I've had 2 different jobs, both of which were not a great fit for me, but I have settled on the D200 unit, which I'm ever so thankful for - especially after floating to other units. Josh is back in law school, classes Monday through Friday, and working at the law library to help out financially. I can hardly wait for the leaves to start turning. Josh and I have planned our last trip to the beach (with Rigby) this coming weekend, and have gone hiking up a big mountain (also with Rigby). She and I have been working on training (with little avail), but I'll keep at it. She's so much puppy!! I'm very thankful for the life I have, and the wonderful husband I have to share it with. I'm thankful that we can sleep together in the same bed at night again. I'm thankful for the seasons, and change. I'm thankful for our wonderful church family, I'm thankful that we have a roof over our heads, food to eat, and love in our hearts. Lord, you are so good to us, and we can't even come close to deserving any of it. Thank you, Lord. Amen!

Love, Sara

The view from Sunday

Today Josh and I have plans to travel into Boston and spend the day with our dear friends Becca, Drew and Addie Benson. I'm so excited to spend some time with them, and I'm anxious to get out and do something on this beautiful day. Yesterday Josh and I took Rigby hiking in the mountains - needless to say, she loved it! She's a regular old mountain dog, climbing up rock slabs that were nearly verticle, and sliding down them on all fours on the way back down. Josh and I are still sore from our little adventure but it was well worth it. It's hard to believe that it's September already. That the leaves will be changing soon and before we know it the temperatures will drop and the wind will become chilled. Another season of life in progress. I'm officially on my own now at work. I do alright, but still learning and still have a long way to go. I still ask a ton of questions and ask for help every 2-3 seconds. haha. I'm enjoying having a home base though, getting to know the people that I work with and my way around the unit. It is tiring though, I will admit. Only ever having a day or two off at a time, trying to balance work that needs done around the house with fun activities. I'm so anxious for when Josh and I can have a house of our own. I can't wait to plant gardens and paint walls, decorate without fear of drilling too many holes in the walls.. However, I do love our little apartment here. We have had many fond memories here, and I'm sure there will be many more memories made here. Well, God bless! He has truly blessed us.

Amen!

Long time no see!

It has been a long time since I've updated this thing, and for that I do apologize! A lot has happened since we spoke last. I got a call while we were on our way back from South Carolina about a full-time position on D200 working evenings. At first I was a little weary because it's a pay cut, but I figured that benefits and a normal schedule were way more important. Josh and I were so excited about the job. We made our way back to Pennsylvania, and have been married over a year now.. (it way doesn't seem like a full year!) Looking back through our pictures, we've been so very blessed in our first year of marriage. Living next to the Browns for 6 months with Rigby just a puppy, and then our cute little apartment here with amazing land-lords. Yes, God has been smiling down on us the whole way. We've purchased our first car together, and have depended on each other through good times and bad. We've learned more about each other, and I feel I know him better than I know myself sometimes. It's been a gorgeous summer, the sun's been shining the last two days and I'm just so thankful that I have them off to enjoy it. Yesterday Josh and I took Rigby for 2 walks, and kicked around the soccer ball with her - she loves that! Today I have no clue what our plans are, and that's quite fine by me. I'm thankful for all the blessings we've been given, and I'm thankful that God has taken the time to answer all our prayers. Amen

Love, Sara

Vacation in Outer Banks NC, and Georgetown SC

I'm writing from our beach house in North Carolina! We're having a blast so far. Yesterday we went down to the beach and worked on our tans, then we went down to the market, and Josh bought me a beautiful amber and silver ring. Today we are leaving for South Carolina, to stay at Mansfield Plantation for our anniversary celebration. I'm excited to see this old beautiful piece of history, and to spend some sweet quality time with my husband of 1 year! (almost). Just a short update this time, but I'm truly thankful for this vacation, for not working night shift for 7 days at least, for relaxation and fun, for family, and for the love of my life. Amen!

Love, Sara

Great things to come

I recently worked a 4 day stretch, and now have tonight off - which is a blessing. Our car is finished at the Ford Dealer's and Josh is picking it up as we speak. I have one more night of work, and then we're off to Clearfield/North Carolina. I cannot wait! I will be able to sleep like a normal person for 7 days at least! And not only that, but after I come back I won't be in the admitting department anymore! How exciting! Not that I mind that much anymore that there's somebody working with me on nights... I will miss Debbie. She was a lot of fun to work with. Maybe we can keep in touch. This post is sort of scatter-brained, as i am right now. Mainly what I wanted to say is that there are a lot of great things coming my way in the near future - even the possibility of a Job offer, and I'm SO very thankful for every single one of them. I do pray, that Lord, You would guide us on where we are headed after Josh is finished with school, if anywhere. Please let us make no mistake about where your will for us to be is. and, thank you, God! For all the many many amazing blessings you have given us! We have a wonderful marriage, a quaint little apartment which I have come to love, a loving family - loving friends, a puppy that always makes our lives interesting, food to eat, jobs to keep food on the table, and a faith and desire to know you better. Thank you Lord for all of these things, and many many more. Amen!

Love, Sara

I'm in the middle of a four-day stretch at work, and usually I'm a zombie by now already, but today I feel great. I slept in the AC all day, got paid today, and my wonderful hubby is on his way home to me. All great things. The amazing thing is that we're doing really well with our finances right now - after we just bought a car and have made our first round of loan payments, which is really such a blessing and I know it's God who is providing for us. We've never been this secure before when both Josh and I were working and the normal bills were flowing in and out. I know it's God who is taking care of us, and providing for us. That makes me think that maybe I don't have to be so scared about wanting this day-shift position. Sure, I won't have night differentials, and I'm not really sure if I'm able to work a shift in the float pool, too, but I know that God will provide for us either way, and if I don't get that position, God's hand is still in our lives, at work, always at work. There is much to be thankful for.I have a weekend off to spend with my wonderful husband. We plan to go to the beach tomorrow which will be a lot of fun. I'm thankful that we have so many fun opportunities, and that we have each other to share life together. I'm thankful for the warm weather, and the sunshine. I'm thankful for Rigby - our cute cuddle puppy. I'm thankful for friends blogs' and their experiences - that we can all learn from each other. I'm thankful for my life in general. I'm very blessed. Amen!

Love, Sara

Visitors!

Josh's parents and grandparents are here visiting us for a few days, and so far it's been so much fun! Yesterday we went to Mount Washington, and went up the Cog Rail train instead of driving - let me tell you, that is quite an experience as well! it was a lot of fun, and the top of the mountain was clear as clear could be. I'm thankful that God decided to make such beautiful places in the world. I'm thankful that he took the time to show his love for us in that way, and it should say something about God that people come from miles and miles away to see His creations. I'm working night shift by myself again this weekend, and I've learned my lesson about complaining all the time - I was saying to Josh that it'll be nice to be on my own again so that I have more to do, and I was dead wrong. 1.5 admissions last night, no tomorrow charts, no direct admissions. I'll look at the bright side and say Debbie is so good at keeping me company and keeping me awake! And I'm less likely to cheat on my diet (like Woah!) when she's there. Speaking of diet, currently it's progressing like a disease with remissions and exacerbations. One day I'm really strict and don't eat hardly anything and the next day I go hog wild! God, Please teach me self control, and continue to work in my life. I'm so thankful that our family is here visiting, I'm thankful that Doug took Rigby for a walk so that I don't have to worry about that today, I'm thankful that the weather's so beautiful, I'm thankful that it's already the middle of July and in a few short weeks we will be headed to NC. I'm thankful that after tonight I get a day off, I'm thankful that all of this hard work is not for nothing, and I know my husband is truly grateful for me, and I am in return truly grateful for him. I'm thankful that we have such a wonderful relationship, I'm thankful that Rigby cuddles with me sometimes, I'm thankful that Liz made it safely to England. I'm thankful for all that you do in my life, God, and I pray that you never cease to work on me. Amen!

Love, Sara

4 days back on nightshift and I feel worn again. But there are many things to be thankful for in feeling worn, I'm working for my family - providing for my husband and I. I have someone on nights with me, to keep me awake and to talk to. I'm thankful for the paycheck at the end of the two weeks. I'm thankful that I don't need to pick up a part time job or whatever just to make ends meet. And really, it would be okay if I did have to do that - at least I'm able to work. I'm thankful that I get to have dinner with my husband every night. I'm thankful that we've had so much company this summer so far, and am really looking forward to having Josh's parents stay with us this weekend. I'm thankful that I have Friday and Monday off. I'm thankful that the two day-shift jobs are still posted on the job board, because that means they haven't given them to anyone yet. I'm so very hopeful that I'll get a call within the next week. But if I don't, it's still okay. This time in admitting is temporary, and I can see that - even if it weren't temporary, it would be okay because God's hand is in everything, and as long as God's hand is in it - it is good. I was able to find a schedule that works best for me and that is a blessing. I'm thankful for the blue skies and sunshine. I'm thankful that I got to talk to my dad on the phone last night, I'm thankful that I have such a close relationship with my family. I'm thankful that I have vacation with Josh's family in NC to look forward to, and that we have a reliable car that can get us there. I'm thankful for our health - Josh and my's... I count ourselves lucky that we can walk, and breathe on our own. Not everyone has that luxury. Thank you, Lord for your many marvelous blessings. Amen

Love, Sara

Rigby Kisses

I am thankful for Rigby kisses, and the beautiful warm weather. I'm thankful that we have air conditioning in our bedroom, and I'm thankful that we were able to go to care group last night. I'm thankful for all of the people in our care group that pray for us, and care for us. I'm thankful for our church, that we have been able to get more and more involved with it. I'm thankful for my husband, every day I am thankful for my husband. I'm thankful for the blogs I read that keep me grounded in faith - and for the bible which is my connection to God. I'm thankful that God made the ultimate sacrifice, and sent his only son to die on the cross for my sins. I'm thankful for the empty tomb, as this means that Christ rose again - He is alive. I'm thankful that we have food to eat and a car to drive, I'm thankful that our finances are stable. I'm thankful for the job that I have - it brings in good money and is not stressful. I'm thankful for the opportunity to apply to the D200 Med-surg unit. I'm thankful for my boss's understanding and her willingness to help me out. I'm thankful for the sound of birds chirping, and the cool breez that drifts through the open windows. I'm thankful for my little family, and the beautiful apartment that we have - and for our wonderful landlords. I'm thankful that I still get excited to see Josh when he comes home from work. I'm thankful for all of these things, and many many more things. Amen!

Love, Sara

"Negative Nancy"

I was looking at self-help books last night to aid in positive thinking, because I feel that I'm negative more often than not. I do get my hopes up internally for things, like job prosects and the like, and then when/if it doesn't work out I'm always really crushed. I think I've always sort of been that way, because if I don't get all excited about something and it doesn't work out, no big deal. If it ends up working out - well then it's an extra little surprise perk. I gather, from others and in my little reflective experience that it is much better to remain positive more often than not, and not to be negative most of the time and have a little surprise perk every once in a while. This blog started so that I could start seeing the little things in life to be thankful for, so that I would savor every moment of this life and not get so negative. I believe that it worked for a little while, but I would like to keep making progress, and I can't say that I feel like I am doing that at the moment. So, here's to a fresh start - I am thankful that it's already 4:45am, and that I get to go home and sleep in 2 hours and some odd minutes. I'm thankful for our new car that is state inspected and keeps us safe. I am thankful for my (and Josh's) health, and our finances - the fact that we don't feel like we're drowning in debt right now. I'm thankful for my job. I get paid very well, and it's not a miserable job. I'm thankful that Rigby hasn't started chewing on things until now, and I'm thankful that our landlords are so awesome. I'm thankful that I was successful in losing weight on my diet, and I'm thankful that we have a vacation to the beach to look forward to so soon. I'm thankful that our anniversary is just around the corner, because that means I've been married to my best friend, my love, my partner for life for almost a year! Isn't that crazy? Wow, God has been so good to me. Thank you Lord!! Amen

Love, Sara

Thankful through the good times and bad

I apologize for my absence. I would attribute it to working night shift, as I attribute everything to that, but realistically, it's probably just laziness. It' been busy here at the Brown household. We had my brother and his fiance' up which was tons of fun, then we had Ned and Hannah Kimmel with baby Jack come and spend a few days with us. Soon Josh's parents will be coming to spend some time with us too! I'm so excited to have all of these people spend time with us - it was rather lonely up here for a while, and still is when everybody goes back home. Other business - josh and I bought our first car together, we get to pick it up on Thursday (hopefully) and we're so excited! I've been applying for jobs left and right and sadly it feels as though no progress has been made since December and January, trying to find a job. I feel more and more as though there is a purpose for me being there. I've prayed time and time again to leave and get a different job, that I feel exhausted and worn thin - but God has not moved me from this place, so I can only assume there is a reason for it. I have to learn, also, to thank God in the good times and bad. That it's not all about what's pleasing and beneficial to me, it's about what's pleasing and beneficial to God. So, Thank you Lord, for all you have provided for us - for this job that brings in money so that we can pay our bills and live a comfortable lifestyle. I pray that you would provide me with energy, and that I would change my attitude and have an optomistic view of this situation. I pray that you would remind me what is important in life - not the luxuries, or things of this world, but the love you instill in me, and my faith. Thank you, Lord. Amen.

Love, Sara

"Money, it's a crime..."

We need wisdom now. My loans are all entering repayment this month which means next month we will have to start paying a hefty sum every month just for school loans. In addition, both of our cars are dying and we've been researching cars within our price range, of course finding one way out of our price range but it seems like a great idea - could we handle monthly payments on a car as well as my loans right now? Josh is working and bringing in a paycheck now, but what about when he's back in school, and should I even be worrying about any of this - because God knows everything. There's a difference between trusting in God and making whimsical decisions and hoping God will pick up the slack. I feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders and I wish sometimes for high school days to return. What little responsibility I had then - remember my saxophone for band practice, and shoes for cross country. I remember always wanting to be a grown up then, so maybe hind-sight is 20/20 in this instance. Lord, I lift this up to you. I pray for your guidance. I pray that you would provide for us - like you have been doing, and I pray that you would just speak to us, Lord. Let us know what to do. I also lift this job that I'm working in to you, I lift my feelings of this job, and I pray about this full-time position I have applied for. I pray that you would consider it, and if it is not your will, that I would accept that graciously. Thank you, Lord for providing. Thank you for this job that I have - giving me experience and means to pay our bills. Thank you for your wonderful mercy, your wonderful grace, please hear these prayers, Lord. In your name Amen.

Love, Sara

Learning to be patient, and content; right where I am

Today, my temporary boss asked me for my availability for the next 6 weeks. In my opinion, those were the worst words she has said to me yet. I've been looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, I've been searching for a way out, and now she tells me my sentence has been extended - well into August? I find it very difficult to find peace about this news, and see the good in it. The good in it... is that I get paid more since it is night shift and she has me on 40 hours a week. The good in it, is that I have a relaxing and sometimes down-right boring job. That's about all I can muster up. But the Lord has called me to be a servant. The Lord has provided for me. The bible says in so many word that when you complain about what the Lord has given you, it's like saying his plan for you is not good enough. I do not know better than God. God is in control, and I have to learn to find joy in that, not my unfortunate circumstances. I need to find joy in God, and the fact that he has saved me from a cruel and bitter end. God has provided a job for which I can provide for our small family - and that is what I have been praying for. So, Lord... give me the strength, give me the endurance, give me the obedience, give me the humility, give me the willpower, and give me your grace to exemplify your name, and bring honor to you. I pray that I would live as an example of your word, and in doing so change peoples lives. Thank you, Lord. Amen.

Love, Sara

On Fire for God

I want to be submerged in God's word, in his plan for me, in his will, in his love. I live some days without giving God a second thought - and that scares me. I want to really know what it is to live out the word of God, to live for God. I want to really know what I'm talking about when I tell others about the love of Jesus, and about life-truths found in the Bible. I've found recently that my want to have a garden is greater than my want to know Christ. My want to sleep is greater than my want to serve, and my want to "lay around" is greater than my want to chase after truth like I'm on fire for God. I've been reading blogs, and seeing how others live out the life of christ, and it was an eye-opener for me. Made me realize that I'm not doing it quite right, and that there are way more ways to be living for God than just reading a chapter in the bible, not giving it any thought - or going to care group twice a month, or church twice a month. There's way more to it than that. It's not so much a day to day thing as it is an hour to hour thing. Thank you, Lord for opening my eyes, and I pray that you would take control here - I pray that you would guide me. I pray that you would teach me, and that I would have the energy, strength, and attitude to chase after you hour after hour. I pray that you would light a fire within my heart, within my soul to follow you. I pray that you would save me from my laziness. Thank you, Lord for your grace, and mercy. Thank you for opening my eyes. Amen.

Love, Sara

This, my 150th post!

I thoroughly enjoy waking up and reading about everybody else's lives - through facebook, and blogs. I sit here doing my morning routine as Rigby tries to trim my fingernails for me by chewing on my fingers, and barks at me restlessly to go for a walk - little does she know it's 90 some degrees outside! I enjoy my little hobbies, like quilting, cleaning up the house (that should totally count as a hobby), and cooking and baking! And the more I think about the mundane - the routine - the more I realize that those things are a privilege as well! It's not just the big things like going to the ocean for a day, or going home for 5 days that are truly a blessing, it's the everyday things that are truly a blessing. I'm thankful that I have the strength and energy to keep our apartment in decent shape. I'm thankful that I have a way to connect with friends even though we live so far apart. I'm thankful that I have my sewing machine, and fabric - and agile hands unworn by age for quilting with. I'm thankful for Rigby who is my friend and companion. I'm thankful for my husband who puts in long hours at work so that we can go home this weekend, and spend a day at the beach tomorrow. I'm thankful for the sunshine and warm weather, I'm thankful for the beauty in pictures - especially wedding pictures - from afar. I'm thankful that I have a bible to read - and have access to that bible nearly everywhere. I truly believe that we should adopt some form of reading the bible together every day - I know that may be hard, but we nearly always have the bible with us, and nearly always eat dinner together. Lord, thank you for these wonderful ideas of how to incorporate you, and your word into our daily lives. I pray that you would make time for us, and that we would be able to focus on you before silly things like work, and cleaning. Amen.

Love, Sara

What a beautiful day!

It's absolutely gorgeous outside. The sun is shining, there's the distant hum of a lawn-mower outside, the birds are chirping - there's a gentle breeze floating in through the bay windows. You know, Josh and I are truly lucky. I was just thinking about our date to go to the beach on Thursday, and you know what? It's so cool that we can even plan a day-trip to the ocean! It's easy to look at things and get complacent - to look at people's houses, and the clothes and jewelry that they wear, the decorations in their houses, it's easy to wish that we had that. We are just starting out though - and right now is going to be harder than it will be in the future. With Josh working right now, we're doing fine and dandy! And of course God has been providing and will continue to provide for us. I'll be able to do more shifts here and there soon, and pick up fun things like "time and a half" or "critical pay", not to mention weekend, evening and night-shift differentials. That's a fun thing about working night shift. But.. it's not all about the money or the "things" that you put in your home, or on your body. It's about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. "Lovest thou me, Lovest thou me, more than these?" Maybe that's what I'll do while I pack up my textbooks today - I'll throw on Ernie Haas & Signature Sound! I haven't listened to them in a while! Anyways, I'm so thankful for music, and I'm thankful for care group. We had a wonderful time last night at care group, and I look forward to getting to know Mickey, and Lauren better - well, and everyone better. God certainly provides... provides money for the groceries, warmth for the home, and friends and companions for the soul. Thank you God! You are too too good!

Love, Sara

Our Rigby girl has been in destruction mode hardcore... and I'm not thrilled about it. SO FAR, she's destroyed Josh's flip flop, my flip flop, too many pairs of underwear to count, and now our little coffee-table thing and one of my binders it looks like. It's making it really hard for me not to flip out at her. But, having said that... these things are just worldy things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. It looks pretty trashy (our coffee table) and costs us more money (flip flops and underwears).. which is annoying, but our salvation with God is unaltered. So, I'm thankful for that promise, I'm thankful for feeling awake after a full night's work, I'm thankful that I only have tonight and then have another day off. I'm thankful that it's not raining outside, I'm thankful for the fun time we had yesterday at Franconia State Notch - and I'm thankful that we have the means to be able to go do fun stuff like that. Right now, we're going to buy Josh a new computer cord, because his broke. It's almost 2:00pm, and that means I have a good amount of time before I have to go to work again tonight. Lord, thank you so much for listening to prayers and showing your grace and mercy again and again. We are so undeserving, I am so sinful, so ungrateful. Please remind me every day of how much I Need you, and I pray that you would intervene in my father's life. Please show him your face, and provide for him, Lord. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Love, Sara

I survived night 1 of night-shift. It was pretty slow, and I had to write down random thoughts into a Word Document just to stay awake and alert... wasn't a bad night though - had 5 admissions, which is more than I expected to have. The good news is I'm down to the line on the scale - 130! not 131, or a little over 130, smack dab on the line! whoo hoo! I figured I'd sleep till 3 today, but I'll just take a nap tonight before work - and I think it won't be a problem tonight because I'm still kind of groggy. I'm very thankful that I'm not too adversely affected by night shift, I'm thankful that I didn't forget to do stuff, I'm thankful that I'm bringing home a paycheck. I really don't want to "take a lunch break" because I'll be getting out before 7:15 9 times out of ten I imagine, but Diane told me to, so I feel like it would be bad for me not to. Well, anyways - Lord I pray you would provide for us, even though I know I don't have to ask, and that you already will/have! I pray that you would provide me with energy, and will-power to resist over-eating to keep myself awake at night, and I pray that my dad would find a job, and that he would be comforted in you, and find peace in you. Please, Lord - take care of my father. I pray you would be with my grandfather too, Lord. I pray you would give him strength, and I pray most of all that he would come to know you well before he passes. Thank you, for your mercy and grace. Thank you for your many blessings. Amen.

Love, Sara

Last day of May

Today is the last day of May, tomorrow is the start of a whole new month - June! How bizarre. It seems that time has been flying by lately. Josh is working at his internship, I get to start night-shifts in the admitting department. I'm nervous... scared... at least if I do H&W, allergies, meds on everybody I know I'll be somewhat safe. I just hope no-one slips through the cracks, and that I do a good job. I'm obsessed with doing a good job.... to oppease other people.. so I'm right and wrong at the same time. Yes, do a good job - to glorify God, not to make others happy. God is my final judgement, and he will provide if things don't work out here. Becca and Drew are a testament to that. I admire their faith and trust in God. It was such a blessing helping them move into their new apartment yesterday. I'm glad that we could be of help to them, and I pray that settling in for them would go smoothely. I'm so thankful for the sunshine - the beautiful weather outside. I have a lot on my list of things to do today, so hopefully I'll tire myself out enough that I'll be able to take a nap tonight. Maybe if it's slow tonight I can do jumping jacks and such to keep me awake. I have an inkling that the caf will be closed most of the night, which will be a good thing. I also have an inkling that work will be pretty steady. I really don't want to go to the floors to help out the first night, and I pray that they would be understanding about that. AH here I go getting myself all worked up. Just relax sara!! God, I pray that you would be with me, right now! and tonight. Calm my nerves, and help me to know that you are with me, and you are in control. I pray for my Dad too, Lord... comfort him, and I pray you would provide for him. Please Lord. Amen.

Love Sara

Happy Memorial Day!

It's a holiday, and I'm off! How exciting! Today we're going to help Becca and Drew move down to cambridge which will be bittersweet. I'm so excited for them to have an apartment of their own, but sad that they will be moving farther away from us. I'm thankful for the opportunity to serve them and help though. I'm thankful for the beautiful weather yesterday, and going for a run last night. I'm thankful that I'm down to 130 pounds, I just need to get below that and the rest will be smooth sailing. I'm thankful that I can work on my quilt a little bit today, and I"m thankful that we got an air conditioner from Joe and Diane yesterday - it was wonderful not waking up all sweaty this morning! I'm thankful for my morning ritual of sipping coffee and perusing facebook and such. I'm thankful for paychecks, and very thankful that the laundry is done, and the dishes. We got a lot accomplished last night! There's a parade going on right down the road - which is pretty cool! we've never had front-seat housing to a parade before! I'm thankful for it not raining today, and I pray that the rain and thunderstorms would hold off until we're all finished moving becca and drew in at least. Thank you Lord, for all these wonderful blessings, and thank you for all the men and women who have served in our military to keep us safe and protect us. I pray you would bless those still living, and the families of those no longer with us. Amen.

Love, Sara

In love with love

Just yesterday, Josh and I were sitting out on our little stoop in the back of our apartment with Rigby, soaking in the cool breezes after having exhausted ourselves at the gym. Rigby was playing around with a popsicle stick, and I just had that overwhelming rush of love - love for a dog? I know, I know... it's silly. I have that overwhelming rush for my husband too fairly often, and I love it. I love the feeling of being in love. And the coolest part? is that it grows every time. Every time I fall deeper in love with Josh, I feel more connected to him than anyone else in this world, and I feel like I would be a mess of tears and snot if he ever left. I'm so thankful for the feelings of love that I have for him, (and Rigby). I'm thankful that God is blessing our marriage day by day, and I'm thankful that we're holding strong to each other. In August we'll have been married a year - which doesn't seem like a long time at all, but it feels like a lifetime already (in a good way!). I'm also thankful for the beautiful weather, the warm sun, the leaves on the trees, the birds chirping. I used to love waking up to the sound of birds chirping outside my window at Pleasant Valley. I'm thankful for our apartment, and our incredibly nice landlords. I'm thankful for days off from work, and helping friends move into a new chapter of their lives. I'm so excited for Becca to finally have the apartment she's been waiting for. I know how it feels to want to be in a place of your own that you can have fun decorating and putting your own homey touch to it. Anyways, Lord, you are so so good to us time and time again. Whether we ask, or don't ask - you always have a gracious heart, and you shower us with grace and mercy. I pray that you would give us wisdom financially, and I pray that you would bless others as you have blessed us. Amen.

Love, Sara

admitting

I'm doing a short stent in the admitting department for the next 5 weeks and it's been interesting so far. I'll be working night shift, which will be even more interesting. I'll have to see what works and what doesn't work on my own - and I have to admit I'm nervous about it because I'm kinda new to the whole thing anyway. I'm thankful for the beautiful weather today, I'm thankful for wearing shorts, I'm thankful for my job despite the nervous feelings. I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful that despite all of these miscellaneous expenses we're still managing to stay afloat. I'm thankful that work went well today and it wasn't very stressful at all. I'm thankful that Josh is handling this whole car-bumping-into business. I feel so stupid that I backed into somebody, but things like that happen every now and then unfortunately, and it's just my bad luck that I made a 110$ mistake. But, I'm thankful for God constantly teaching me humility. I think that's all for this post.

It's been forever and a day...

I'm so sorry it's been so long since I posted last. I feel like this whole working full-time and having a life thing takes time to master, and I'm still working on it. I'd like to be able to work, have a life, enjoy time with my husband, read my bible, and another stimulating book, workout and remain in good shape, cook meals for dinner nearly every night and make healthy lunches for work. Now that I'm going to be working 40 hours a week 8 hour shifts, I just don't know how I'm going to fit everything in. Josh and I want to go home this month, and we really want Steven and Brandy to come up and visit. I pray for wisdom and guidance in this matter. We went to care-group last night, and it was awesome. Got to meet some new people that attend our church, and got to really chit-chat with people. Looking forward to spending time with the Woo's on Sunday, and really liking how things are going as far as meeting support people in this area. As I said, I'm still learning to juggle things, so it's no surprise that I barely talk to my friends back home anymore, the days slip away from me. I feel like I hated 12 hour shifts while I was working them, but now I'm thinking how hard it's going to be working 5 days a week. I know that's what everyone else in the world does, but I think I like having more days off after all. I pray for guidance with the job thing too. Josh thinks I should make myself known to the ED peeps, but I think I should wait and gather some more experience, make some new acquaintances, and give it time - although... I would really like a full-time job. I pray for money-wisdom as well... Josh and I need to straighten out our finances, and it's something that frightens me seeing as how loan payments start next month, and then evenutally tacking on a car payment to that.. will be astronomical. Lord, you've always taken care of us in good times and bad, and I have no reason to believe that you won't do the same this time, but I do pray Lord, that you would comfort us. Lay our worries to rest. Guide us. Amen.

Love, Sara

Owwie.

I've been working my butt off at the gym the past 2 days, after a pretty long hiatus, and I'm soooooore. haha. It makes me feel even more ridiculous because all that I've done to merit this lactic acid build-up was 20 push-ups, and about 50 squats, along with my regular gym routine. I'm in sad shape. But, thank heavens for warm comfy beds, and sheets that smell like husband, and hot showers to loosen the tight muscles. I'm thankful for books to read, and the sound of birds outside. I'm thankful for how green the streets are with spring in full bloom. There are many things in this world that I desire, and I need God's help to realize that I have more than all of that stuff, I have the love of God - and that can make me happier than any house, than any dress, than any pair of shoes. I have the love of a faithful and devoted husband. I'm very thankful for my situation and my circumstances. I'm thankful that we have dinner on our plates every night, and that we have a place to live, clothes to bundle up in... cars to get us to work, jobs that the Lord has provided for us. Thank you God, for your many many blessings - for your countless blessings, and for choosing such a wretch as me to shower your grace upon. I'm not worthy. Amen.

Love, Sara

Critters in the night

Josh and I discovered that little furry friends like to clean up after our suppers more often than not. And not only that but sneak into sara's work bag and finish off her apple from lunch. Needless to say the germ-a-phobe in me was SCREAMING. We set mouse traps last night and one went off, the other did not. I'm thankful that at least one of these little critters is no longer in our apartment. It's funny though, even though the little thing was making my kitchen hugely unsanitary, I felt so bad when I saw it's lifeless body. Hopefully there aren't anymore of them so I don't have to go through that again. I decided to start another diet. And I'm going to try my darndest to make it to the gym every day, as long as I work 8 hour shifts, it's not a problem. It's when I work 12's that it's impossible. So, I'm thankful that I will be able to make my own schedule in 8 weeks, I'm hopeful that another job might present itself. I'm thankful though that God has provided this job for me for the time being. I'm thankful that today is only wednesday and I have tomorrow, saturday and sunday to relax as well. I'm thankful that I'm still working away on my quilt, and I'm excited for when it's all finished. Lord, thank you for your many blessings. Thank you for my husband who works so hard for us, and for our puppy Rigby who provides much entertainment and comfort. Thank you for your blesings. Amen.

Love, Sara

I'm so thankful for my job. I'm thankful for my family - mom, brother, dad. I'm thankful that I have Rigby and Josh here all the time. I'm thankful that I get to see my husband every day, and cuddle with him at night. I'm so thankful that he's providing for our little family now too. I'm thankful that we have the means to go buy healthy food, and that we have the money to maintain a gym membership, which I would really get better at utilizing. I'm thankful for rainy days as well as sunny days. I'm thankful that Dana got a full-time job. She needs it more than I do to support her husband and baby boy. I pray that I would be able to start saving some money for our family though. I pray that we would be able to get our feet on the ground. I pray that you would provide for us Lord - I know I don't even have to ask because you will anyways. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your mercy. Provide a job for me, Lord. I pray that you would provide for us. In your name. Amen.

Love, Sara

trial by fire

God never said that this life would be easy - in fact, he promised that it would not be easy. It's so much easier to relate to sinful lifestyles, envy...jealousy...gossip... than to be an example and connect with friends on a truly deep level if they are unsaved. Likewise, no one ever said that nursing would be easy. Quite the contrary, everyone... everyone told me that the first year especially would be hard - really really hard, and that nurses are notorious for eating their young. I don't know why I thought I would be the exception to both the first and the second of these. I was feeling lost, and hopeless, when I remembered that I'm not living for this world. I'm not living to make friends at work, I'm not living to be a nurse even... I'm living for God, and although it's hard, it's a trial by fire. God makes me stronger every day, he makes me wiser every day, and I know he will not quit - he will finish the good work that he has started in me. I am so thankful for a loving God. I'm thankful for a higher purpose. I'm thankful that I know God and have something after this life that will be better than anything in this world. God, grant me patience, grant me strength. Remind me always that the things of this world are not the answer, and place Godly people in my life. Thank you Lord, Amen.

Love, Sara

a day off is a good day

I'm thankful that I got to sleep in until 10 this morning. I'm thankful that I have a day off. I'm thankful that I get paid tomorrow. I'm thankful that it's not raining, although it would be nice if the sun was shining. I can't believe it's almost 11! I am going to make myself take Rigby for a walk, and clean up the apartment. During my lunch break I can watch Bones and work on my quilt. The circular square is going to take a long time, i didn't realize it would take that long. I'll be excited when I'm done with it, but I won't be able to spend some money for a while. I really need to trust God about our finances. I know that he always has taken care of us in the past, and this time will be no different. It just makes me nervous how I work so hard and can barely pay the rent and the credit-card bill and all this other stuff that we need as opposed to careless spending. Anyways, I'm thankful for the optomistic looking weather report, and I hope I get a couple of nice days while I'm off. Thank you God, for everything that you have done for us so far, and I know you will continue to take care of us. Amen.

Love, Sara

short, sweet, simple.

Today, I'm thankful that I only worked 8 hours, I'm thankful that I did better today than I did yesterday, even if my preceptor didn't say too much about it. I'm thankful that I got to use my EZpass thing this morning - what a neat little gadget! I'm grateful for patients who appreciate what I try to do for them. I'm grateful that Josh got his car fixed and that we had the resources (sort of) for that. I pray that God would please provide for us financially this month. I feel like we're barely scraping by and we have a lot more expenses to go before our cars are in working order and everything. I'm thankful that Josh and I are able to prioritize our spending and do so wisely, and I'm of course thankful that God has provided above and beyond our needs thus far, and I know He will continue to do so. I'm thankful for music, and warm showers, and fuzzy blankets, and my pillow-case project thing, and Bones, and ear phones so that I can watch Bones while my wonderful and hard-working husband can do homework. I'm thankful that I get to make dinner for my husband most nights, and that we once again have the finances for groceries and food. God, you are so good to us and we don't deserve a bit of your grace. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Amen!

Love, Sara

Reading the BIBLE...

You know, I always get pretty caught up in the plans that I make for myself. Reading the "Dug Down Deep" book by Joshua Harris I thought seemed like a great idea - and that would be my way to "connect" with God throughout the week too. But I learned this week, that nothing comes close to actually reading the word of God, the Bible. I struggled this weekend because Friday was a very hard day at work. I made some minor mistakes, but to me - they feel like the worlds biggest, (and stupidest) mistakes. I want to exceed expectations, I want to excell in my field. I want to be the exception - the extraordinary fast learning smart new girl! But really? I'm a human being full of sin. I'm a failure. I make stupid mistakes, and I get angry and frustrated and feel down about myself because, I'm a human. I thank God that Jesus gave his life on the cross for my sins - and there are many. I'm thankful that I started reading my bible again. I'm thankful that I felt convicted about not reading my bible every day. I'm thankful for every time I remember to pray to God. I am thankful that I've started going to the gym again, and I pray that I would continue to do that. I am thankful that I still have weeks of orientation left, and that I have had very nice, understanding preceptors so far. I'm thankful that I passed my boards and have gotten to this point period. I pray that God would protect my patients while I'm still learning. I pray that I would be able to follow you, God, everyday - read your word, pray to you, at least think about you. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Love, Sara

Blackberry Bold

Today, I went to the Verizon store, and upgraded my phone to a blackberry bold! yaaay! I won't be able to spend any money for a little while, but that's okay - because so far I like this phone very much. It's important for me to check myself though, because I have a tendency to get a little materialistic with things like phones, clothes etc. I don't feel that way yet about this phone because most people probably wouldn't envy this phone with the Droids and iphones out there. I like it though =]. I'm thankful that it wasn't raining all day today, I'm thankful that I only have tomorrow 12 hours and then I have Saturday and Sunday off. I'm thankful that the EZ pass thing is all done and all I have to do is wait for the little flicker jiggers to come in the mail. I'm thankful that I made myself go to the gym yesterday and will again today. I'm thankful that I got the grocery shopping done last night. I will charge myself to do the dishes tonight, and iron my scrubs for tomorrow. I will finish up the laundry on Saturday. I will sweep/dust/wash windows at some point this weekend. I need to take off my pink fingernail polish too. Lord, thank you for the many many blessings you've given to me, and I pray that I would be reminded of them continuously. Help me to remember all of the things that I do have, not the things that I do not have. Thank you for instructive resources such as Ann Voskamp's blog and Joshua Harris's book Dug Down Deep that I'm reading through. Continue to search me out, and convict me, change me. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Love, Sara

"Hump day"

It's hump day in more than one sense of the word - it's wednseday, and it's the middle of my 3 day stretch off. It's kind of sad, because I know that tomorrow's my last day to sleep in - well until Saturday, and Sunday. Haha. Ok. Maybe not so bad. I'm thankful for days off, I'm thankful for work. I'm thankful that today I can upgrade my phone. I'm thankful that I finally got us EZ-passes so I won't have to pay 2$ every day I go to work. I'm thankful that Josh starts work soon. I'm thankful that Rigby and I got to go for a nice walk this morning. I'm thankful that I get to watch the King's Speech tonight. I'm thankful that I got to start another sewing project, and I'm thankful that spring has finally come to stay at Concord NH. I pray that I would be able to use our money wisely in the coming month and that God would provide for us. I pray that I would be able to work well and that I would not make silly mistakes. I pray that I would be able to do well at my job, and I pray that the gracious and merciful God that he is would provide for us a full time position so that I can have health insurance again. I pray all of these things in the loving and glorious name of God the father almighty! Amen.

Love Sara

Dogs have personalities.

Rigby always knows that when you're putting on your shoes, it either means you're going for a walk, or you're leaving without her. She freaks out when Josh leaves, which she's doing currently. Rips back and forth from the window seat to the hallway, to the window seat to the hallway. It's amusing to say the least. I'm thankful for her ridiculous personality. I'm thankful for the way she whines and wants to play. I'm thankful for someone to keep me company when Josh's at school. The silly thing is that I would pick up some extra shifts in no time at all this week if I could, just because it's so lonely around here - and supposedly going to be a gloomy 3 days. I'll be glad when I go back to work on Friday. I'm thankful that I got an appointment to get my car inspected. I'm thankful that I have a quilting project to work on today, and I'm thankful that the house needs cleaned - which also gives me something to do. I'm thankful for Bones, to pass the time while I'm eating lunch and such, and I'm thankful that I got to sleep in till 11. I must've been really tired. I'm thankful that I made myself go to the gym last night, and I hope to do the same thing again tonight. Now that it's open 24/7 I really have no reason in the world not to go. I'm thankful/still in love with my bright pink fingernails. Lord, I pray that you would control my urge to spend money on myself, and help me to be conscientious of our finances. I pray that we would be able to put away money for our vehicle, and that I would be able to go get groceries without worrying that we're going to be cutting it close come credit-card payment time. Thank you God, for all the many many blessings. I pray that you would be with Josh during this time of finals. I pray that he would be able to focus on school work, and that he would learn all the things he needs to know for his finals. Thank you Lord. Amen.

The Lord listens to prayers

Last night, on Facebook (none the less)!! I asked that God grant me the strength to get through another round of 12 hour shifts, and today I came home with more energy than I've ever had in an 8 hour shift. I changed the license plates on my car, went to get a few groceries, went to the gym and now I'm waiting for my pink fingernails to dry. =] I was going to go as far as to straighten my hair for tomorrow, but decided against it. SO, all in all, I'm thankful that I had lots of energy today, I'm thankful that it was a good day at work. I'm thankful that I didn't stuff my face and felt good enough to go to the gym after I got home. I'm thankful that Josh is telling Rigby not to growl at people. haha... bizarre thing to be thankful for huh? I'm thankful that I was lucky yet again with my preceptor. I'm thankful that after tomorrow (which is only an 8 hour shift) I have 3 days off! I'm looking forward to being productive. Cleaning the house, getting my car inspected, yadda yadda yadda. Lord, Thank you so much for listening to me and my pathetic prayers, and more than that answering them, even if they do occur as a status on facebook. Thank you for being the merciful and gracious God that you are. Amen.

Love, Sara

There is much to be thankful for

Today I'm thankful for Ann Voskamp's blog aholyexperience.com. I love how she constantly focuses on the heart of things. The broken heart of things to be exact. Loving in a world like this is not an easy task. We're all afraid of getting our hearts broken, and because of that we shy away from certain situations, and don't love freely like the Lord has called us to. That's something that I know I'm guilty of time and time again. I'm well guarded, well-shielded, and I should not be. I'm thankful for my husband who is a living example of living without shields. I'm thankful for the way he loves me unconditionally. I'm thankful that I get to wake up next to him every morning, and I'm thankful that he shows me he loves me in the middle of the night - dead asleep. I'm thankful for the little ways God shows his love for us - blooming flowers, sunshine, children's smiles. God is so good to us, and it's so easy to be discontent. God, I want you to know that I'm truly thankful. I'm so sorry for complaining - because it's showing you that what you have provided for me isn't good enough, and that's not my place to say. I should be thankful that you have provided the many blessings you have, and not be begging or whining for more. Thank you Lord, and help me to remember in the hard times that you have been ever so gracious and merciful to me. Thank you God. Amen.

Love, Sara

...weekends and holidays and all throughout May

and you'll never be right no matter what you say! One of my favorite Bryan Regan soundtracks. I'm thankful for the beautiful weather we had today. I'm thankful for getting the chance to babysit Addie today - it was a blast. I'm thankful that I'm getting a little more settled in from being home for a while - the table's now out of the trunk/back seat of my car. I got my NH plates today which I'm thankful for, and I got my birth control pills which I'm thankful for. I'm thankful that we have the means to go out to dinner when I really don't feel like cooking, although we really need to stop over-using that luxury. I'm thankful that I have ice cream in the fridge which I just remembered! I'm thankful that the Royal Wedding is now over. I'm thankful that I'll be starting on a new floor Sunday, and I'm really hoping that I make progress in the areas that I'm lacking. Lord, Please help me to be a better nurse. Help me to be on top of my patients and my orders - help me to understand in full detail and remember in full detail. Please help me to glorify your name in all that I do, and as always I pray that my father would be blessed with a job that would suit him. I pray that he would trust in you, and that you would comfort him Lord. All of these things I pray in your blessed name. Amen.

Love, Sara

Tie Tie

I'm thankful for ibuprofin that works so well for my headaches. I'm thankful that a long day of work is over, and I'm so looking forward to getting a warm shower and snuggling in my nice big comfy bed with my big fluffy blankets. I'm looking forward to getting paid tomorrow, and very thankful that God has provided for us and continues to bless us. I'm thankful for the opportunity to serve our friends on Friday and I'm thankful for planned movie nights. I'm thankful for a husband who will drive to the store in order to purchase me feminine products. God, thank you for these many many blessings, and always remind me of how blessed I am. Never let me forget it and never let me forget to thank you for it. Amen.

Love, Sara

home sweet home

I had the privilege of going back to Clearfield/Indiana PA this past week. I had a 6 day stretch off from work, so I went home and spent Easter with my family while my husband stayed in NH doing school work. I ventured completely alone to PA - didn't even bring my Rigby girl with me, and I missed both my husband and my puppy dearly while I was away. It was wonderful spending the holiday with family - even my brother and his fiance` came home. Naturally, I'm thankful for family time, for holidays, for the opportunity to go home. I'm thankful that my travels were safely made and that I'm back in the comfort of my own home, and my husband's arms. I'm thankful that Rigby is extra cuddly with me since I was gone, and that I have today to recooperate before work tomorrow. I pray that I would get my schedule for the next rotation soon, and that it wouldn't be 12 hour shifts. I'm eager to start putting together my own schedule and getting paid the little perks like overtime and critical pay - if I decide to pick up extra shifts. Josh will be going into finals next week, so Lord I pray for him. Help him to have the energy and stamina to study all that he needs to study, and help guide him in his studying so that he picks up the things he really needs to know. Thank you Lord for this life you have blessed me with, and for giving your son's life so that I may live this one. I pray you would guide me and help me to do your will every minute of every day. Help me to cling helplessly to you, Lord. Amen.

Love, Sara

cravings galore

I've been having crazy strong, strange cravings again lately. It's been a lot of ice-cream and sorbet, etc. lately. Chubby hubby, Birthday Cake ice cream... mmm mmm mmm. I quit drinking diet coke, or pop at all for that matter a few days ago due to a ridiculous caffiene headache that spanded several days. Anyways, let's get down to business. Today, I'm thankful that work ended eventually. I'm thankful that despite my many mistakes and moments of panic, I survived, and my patients survived. I'm thankful that my preceptor is so understanding and helpful. I'm thankful that tomorrow I have an IV course in the morning and get to take a little break from E200. I'm thankful that I will get to go home in a few days, and I'm thankful that Steven will be home while I'm home too. I pray for my Dad - I pray that he still has that job, and that he's doing okay with it. I pray that you would relieve any anxiety or fear, or doubt that he has, Lord. Please comfort him. I pray for my husband's presentation tomorrow, I pray that he would do well, and that his professor would be pleased. I pray for all of those who lost their homes, lives, loved ones in NC and surrounding regions due to tornadoes. Lord you are such a good God. You make us pure like Silver by fire. I feel that flames of this life, Lord and it helps me to know that you love me. Thank you God for you unworthy affection, your grace, your mercy; for saving a wretch like me. Amen Love, Sara

Plans, plans, plans

I feel taken over sometimes. Like, my first quilting project is now finished, and I'm consumed by what I'm going to do next, how I'm going to do it and what supplies I'm going to need. Then I look around and realize that our apartment is getting pretty messy, so then I think ok.. well I need to clean the windows, and the hallway needs swept and There's all this stuff laying around that doesn't really belong here, and Oh I have to go get groceries today, and I should take Rigby for a nice walk today, and then I start thinking about groceries and I think - wouldn't it be nice if I had yadda yadda, and maybe I could get this, wouldn't be too expensive. I did put $1000 into our savings account today because I just don't think we're very good at saving money unless we have to. At any rate. Lord, please remind me of all the things I do have, not all the things that I don't have.. and help me to have some self control when it comes to shopping and buying quilting fabrics and such. Please, lord help me to make wise decisions for our family and help me to put Josh's needs before my wants. Thank you for the glorious sunshine outside, Lord and thank you for healing me of my headache yesterday. Help me to glorify you today. Amen. Love, Sara

Hamburgers on the grill

Today Josh and I bought a little grill at Lowes so that we could have hamburgers on the grill. Good choice! The hamburgers were wonderful! I'm thankful for the taste of grilled meat. I'm thankful that naps can help headaches go away sometimes. I'm thankful that we got all of our laundry done today. I'm thankful that I got our budget done today. I'm thankful that we took Rigby for a nice long walk today, and I'm thankful that I got paid today. Thank you, Lord for all these wonderful blessings. I'm glad that I have this headache too, in a way because it means my body is getting used to not having caffeine coarsing through my veins. I really need to stop drinking so much caffiene. Tomorrow my big "to do" is going to be to get groceries. I can't really do much with my next quilting project at the moment becuase I'm collecting fabrics for it at the moment. Lord, grant me patience when it comes to my quilting projects. Thank you for quilting and how it makes me feel when I finish a project. I pray once again for my father. Please comfort him, please let him know of your love for him, and my love for him. Help him not to be scared, and please let it work out with a job. Provide the money that he needs to rent an apartment and get groceries, please keep him on his feet Lord. I know that you can help him. Please hear my prayers, Lord. Amen. Love, Sara

"Gonna make it work, but man these times are hard"

Isn't it funny how you can wake up in the morning with a completely random song stuck in your head? (hence the title of this post). It's quarter after 8 and I'm wide awake! =] So much for "sleeping in" but all that matters is that I feel rested, and I do. I have big plans for today, and it's rainy outside, so I think I might be able to get most of them accomplished. I hope to finish my quilt - now that I know how to put the binding on it. Jeez, I'm glad I researched some videos becuase I wasn't anywhere close. I won't ramble on with my to-do list but instead will get right along with my thank yous. I'm so thankful that I have a job. I'm thankful for my Rigby puppy, I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful for waking up rested. I'm thankful for contentment - although it is hard to find. I'm thankful for the rain, and the sunshine - although the rain could hold off a little since the river's already nearly engulfing the merrimack bridge. I'm thankful for our cozy apartment, and I look forward to continuing to put my "womanly" touches on it more and more as time goes along. I'm thankful that we caught the garbage truck in time - that would've been bad. I'm thankful once again for the news that my father got a job. I'm so very hopeful that he still has said job, and I pray Lord, that you would take care of him. Please God. He needs your help, I need your help - we all do. Thank you for your mercy, Lord. Amen. Love, Sara

3 day weekend

I am so thankful that I get to sleep in tomorrow. I'm so thankful that E200 has been easier than E100 so far. I'm so thankful that my preceptor Shelly is super nice. I lucked out completely with my 2 preceptors so far. I'm so thankful that my dad possibly got a job, and I want to spend the brunt of this message praying for him. Lord, thank you for providing a job for my father. Now, please help him keep it - I know that's asking a lot and he has to do some of the work too, but just comfort him, Lord. Help him to know that you're there and that everything is going to work out for him. Let him know that you love him dearly. Please, God I beg you. Help him to keep a job and provide a place for him to live. Help him to know you better. I don't know where he stands exactly on his faith, but you do, Lord... and I pray you would reach out to him. Thank you God, for the many blessings you've given to me and my family. Thank you Lord. Amen. Love, Sara

I love the ocean!

One of the major benefits of living in the New England area is the fact that everything is within driving distance. Today, Josh and I took Rigby to the ocean to play around. It was awesome! We stopped at Panera to get lunch, planned on having a picnic by the ocean but we got hungry on the way. haha. When we got there Rigby didn't quite know what to think. We threw around the tennis ball and she chased it up and down the beach. We found some clams that hadn't been eaten by the seagulls yet, and Rigby licked and snipped at them a little, haha. It was a beautiful day, and it made me so happy that we can go to an ocean (even if it isn't bathwater North Carolina Ocean), pretty much anytime we want, and lounge around on the beach for a couple hours. I'm SO excited to do that once summer comes. It was a whopping 60 some degrees today which was awesome! The sun was shining, and it was gorgeous outside. After we came back from the ocean, Josh and I took a nap together which was sweet, and I made dinner. Overall, I couldn't have been happier with today. It was a lot of fun, and it was just what I needed before I start 12 hour shifts on E200. Don't get me wrong, I'm super excited for 12's because I'll have more days off, but I know myself, and I'll be tired at first. I'm so so thankful for this life that God has blessed me with. I'm thankful for the ocean, the mountains, the cities, the towns, and the sunshine. I'm thankful for my loving husband and my baby-puppy girl.. our "substitute" child. haha. Thank you God!! Love, Sara

Spring is in the air

I took Rigby for a nice long walk this morning wearing just a sweater, and it was wonderful! It was sunny, and warm-ish. I also made myself a nice tasty, healthy dinner tonight which I enjoyed very much. I'm thankful that I got to sleep in this morning. I'm thankful that I had the day off to rest and recooperate. I'm thankful for tomorrow's plans to sleep in (of course) and go to the beach. I'm thankful for the Pirates even though it's painful being a fan (sometimes). I'm thankful for hot showers and snuggling with blankets and/or husband. I'm thankful that I was able to find a gynecologist appointment for less than 250$. I'm thankful that I haven't become pregnant yet, and I pray that it wouldn't happen anywhere in the near future... unless it's God's will, in which case I understand that he will provide for us. I pray that I would learn to trust completely and fully without doubts or deceitful thoughts. I pray that I would learn to depend on God, and that I would let him take control, instead of trying to make things happen for myself - selfish things at that. I pray that these next few weeks at work (12 hour shifts) would be kind to me, and I wouldn't be totally exhausted by the end of it. God, give me energy, give me strength... give me confidence and give me faith. Thank you, Lord. Amen. Love, Sara

My big day at work

I'm very proud of myself for still being awake at 9:45pm after working a 3-day stretch on E100. Brava to me! Today was a momentus one becuase I took my own patient assignment of 5 patients and survived. Not only did I survive, but I didn't hurt anyone in the process and managed to be somewhat productive. Sarah of course helped me and qued me when to speak to the Dr's, and whom to speak to, but other than that... =] it's a start! I'm so thankful that I have a job, and I'm thankful that I'm finally a nurse after 4 years of nursing school, blood sweat and tears, hours of sleep lost and way too much caffiene consumption. It definitely paid off. I'm thankful that my husband works so hard at his school work. I'm thankful that Rigby cuddles up next to me on the couch and keeps me company. I'm thankful that the Pirates are doing somewhat well so far this season! I'm thankful for the beautiful weather today, and the predicted beautiful weather this weekend. I'm thankful for Josh doing the dishes for me last night, and I pray that I can serve him as well as he's been serving me. I'm so thankful for this stretch of 3 days off, and I'm so excited to start my rotation on E200. Thank you God, for looking out for me, and for blessing me beyond my wildest dreams. Amen. Love, Sara

...and the courage...

A couple days ago, Josh and I ventured to Bed Bath and Beyond to acquire a few supplies to purdy up our bathroom. We put a full-lenth mirror on the wall so that I can see what I'm doing when getting ready for work in the wee hours of the morning, a basket to put on the back of the toilet to hold my hair straighteners, curling irons, etc, and finally - the man's touch, a basket for "reading materials" that goes on the floor. Overall, it looks so nice! (Only, it needs to be cleaned now. haha). But what got me thinking is how buying one thing often leads to buying another, and it's very easy for me to get selfish and absorbed in making my house, well.. apartment... look picture perfect. I find that in most things, I'm enamored with the end result, instead of contently enjoying the journey. This is something I'd like to work on. Same goes with nursing attire and regular every-day attire. If I want something new to wear, all of a sudden I want a whole new wardrobe. I'm thankful that this has come to my attention and I've noticed this weakness about myself. I'm thankful that I can pray to a God who not only hears, but listens and who will help me grow in this way and many others. I'm thankful for my wonderful husband, who works so hard at school so that some day we can support our children. I'm so very, very blessed. Amen. Love, Sara

God, Grant me the Strength...

I survived my first weekend of work. I didn't enjoy it. It was very busy, and I still feel like I'm not quite ... there yet. Which - perhaps that's normal, but I'd really love to get there. Here's another thing... there's an opening, well... there's a job posted on the CMC job board for ED.. full time, benefits and everything - night shift. EXACTLY what I wanted. I'm going to apply for it, of course, but I don't know if it'll work out since I'm a newby. I am an employee of CMC, and I am a Registered Nurse, finally. I prayed about it today, and I think that's just what I'll keep doing. I'll keep praying, and hope that God gives me an answer. I need to trust, and I need to remind myself that I'm blessed to have a job at all - and it is enough. I enjoy my job as a nurse, I love what I do. I feel badly when my patients are in pain, and I really hope that they all get better, and get out of the hospital. I know I would hate to be admitted somewhere. No sleep, constant in and out of people in the rooms, and IV pumps going off - I'm sure the beds aren't that comfortable either. Lord, I pray that you would grant me the strength to be a servant to my patients, grant me the patience I need to be supportive of them, and grant me the wisdom to be their advocate. I pray that you would continue to bless our little family, and I thank you graciously for the blessings we've been receiving. You are too kind, Lord. I pray that you would lead me in the right direction, and answer my prayers about the Emergency Department position. Thank you, Lord. Yours Always, Amen. Love, Sara